From: Doug Harter's Initial Logs Processor Subject: HUMOR Digest - 5 Sep 1993 There are 4 messages totalling 108 lines in this issue. Topics of the day: 1. Newfie Joke 2. Nasruddin 3. Chinese joke: Two Drunkards 4. Chinese joke: Manliness ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1993 08:20:35 EDT From: Bert Headrick Subject: Newfie Joke Subject: Newfie Joke For Theresa Muir who requested Canadian/Newfie humour: Back in the days when trains ran in Newfoundland, apassenger was travelling from Corner Brook to St. John'n when, all of a sudden, there was a tremendous thump and bang followed by a really rough ride for a few seconds. This was followed by another thump, bang and the ride became smooth again. Just then, the conductor was passing through the car, so the passenger asked, "What happened back there?" The conductor replied, "Oh, we just ran over a mainlander." The passenger asked, "What, was he lying on the track?" The conductor replied, "Oh no, he was out in the field but we got him!" Regards, BERT HEADRICK, ST LAWRENCE COLLEGE, BROCKVILLE CAMPUS ========== ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1993 18:33:26 -0500 From: Ali Mohajer Subject: Nasruddin I was tickled to see the good Mulla Nasruddin debut on tis list a few days ago. These are stories I learned at my father's knee, so to speak, and while they seemed funny in a silly sort of way to me as a child, it takes a mature perspective to really appreciate the humor of these tales. Here are a few from memory: Nasruddin felt that his donkey was eating too much for the amount of work it did, so he started to gradually "accustom" the beast to less food. After a few weeks people at the bazaar began to notice that the Mulla's poor donkey was looking quite gaunt and unwell, until one day Nasruddin arrived at the market shouldering his burden himself. A friend inquired of his donkey's health, at which the Mulla sadly shook his head and said: "Alas, the poor beast has died, and just when he had gotten used to eating nothing at all!" Okay, here's a less tragic one: Nasruddin and his cronies were reminiscing about squandered youth and the enfeeblement of age when the Mulla exclaimed that he was just as strong now as when he was a strapping lad of twenty. When asked to explain this remarkable statement, he pointed to a large rock in the corner of his field and said: "I couldn't move it when I was young, and I still can't move it today!" And finally: Nasruddin always had a difficult relationship with his beasts of burden. One day, after trying several times to mount his donkey, he finally makes it onto the saddle only to find he is looking at the tail end of the animal. A passerby laughs and tells the Mulla he is facing the wrong way, to which the Mulla says: "How do you know which way I want to go?" More to come on later posts, Ali Mohajer acc_ali@exodus.valpo.edu ========== ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1993 21:50:11 CDT From: Zedai Zheng Subject: Chinese joke: Two Drunkards One night, two drunkards were on their way home from a bar. Each one denied that he was drunk. "You are not drunk?" one asked, then he turned on the flashlight on his hand and a beam of light was projected up to the night sky, "Dare you climb up along this light-pillar?" Another answered: "Do you think I am drunk? No, don't make a fool of me. I know your dirty trick clearly. When I climb up on the half way, you turn off the light, so I drop down!" -- ZZD -- SIUC -- ========== ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1993 21:52:05 CDT From: Zedai Zheng Subject: Chinese joke: Manliness Chinese joke: Manliness A crowd of husbands have a meeting discussing how to give rid of the control of their wives. In order to check how many of them are afraid of their wives, one participant suggests: "Those who dread their wives please stand on the other side." All the men come over to the side except one who stand unmoved. All the guys express their admirations for his manliness and ask him to talk some experience. He says: "My wife told me not stand in the place where many people stand together." ----------------------------------------------------------- 29 ------------------------------