There are 4 messages totalling 118 lines in this issue. Topics of the day: 1. The Modern Military 2. It's A Wacky World! 3. Do what in the swimming pool 4. True German Language ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 03:23:13 -0400 From: Jim Moore Jr Subject: The Modern Military * A Marine Recruiter was attracting a crowd at a local college here explaining the benefits of the Reserves. A video was playing on the large screen TV near-by. One student asked: "As the planes are bombing the shore, and the ships are shelling the coast, and those little boats are heading towards the beach in this video, who are those guys in the boats ?" "Well, they're Marines, son." boasted the Sergeant proudly. "Uh, that's what I thought." said the boy, who then turned and disappeared quickly into the crowd. - - - - - * Part of any pilot's training is what's called "Survival Tactics". There's even a special section for "Jungle Survival." Both the modern Air Force and Navy instruct pilots attending this course to attempt to crash in the summer months only, as they'll find more edible fruit about. - - - - - * When my son was in the Air Force, Mrs JimJr and I visited quite often. On our first visit, we were allowed inside this top secret Communications Center, but everything in sight was covered up so we could look around everywhere -- Hell, even the toilet paper in the Men's room was disguised. Anyway, at the exit, there's a sign above the door which reads: "You have been exposed to Top Secret Material. Please destroy yourself before leaving the building." - - - - - * During that same visit, we went to the control tower, the radar installation, the flight line, and so on. We saw about everything that could be seen. I even knew how many planes, US and Russian, were airborne at that very moment (the "Cold War" was still on). We stopped at the commissary for sodas and the Guard at the door said, "I'm sorry Sir, you'll need a military ID to enter." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Enjoy humor ? Visit me @ (joke page) http://www.mindspring.com/~vibes/jimmy.htm (postings) http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/6293 ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 16:29:00 -0600 From: "Ken Brousseau Sr." Subject: It's A Wacky World! The bra's the thing in Korean art exhibit. SEOUL, South Korea (CNN) -- Artists featured in a new exhibit in South Korea took a common, everyday item -- in this case, the bra -- and tried to find the art, the message, within. Some of the more than 200 brassieres on display at Bra-Haus Seoul 97, designed by artists from more than 90 countries, are decidedly for show and not for wear. Among them: a barbed wire bra and one made from toilet plungers. The month-long exhibition was the brainchild of fashion designer Samuele Mazza, who invited artists and designers to portray the Bra-Haus definition of "form follows function." Artists go bra-serk! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ mmm - That barbed wire bra! Think it will ever catch on? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 22:31:31 EDT From: "Karl L. Wuensch" Subject: Do what in the swimming pool "Gut Fahrt" reminded me that I often saw signs in Europe which were humorous if you took them to be English. One of the best was a sign we saw in the Italian speaking region of Switzerland. We had just visited a public toilet, and it was nearly as bad as those in Italy proper, and we were complaining about it when we saw a sign that read: Albergo Hotel Reber CON PISCINA SWIMMING POOL The message in caps seemed to us to be an invitation to urinate in their pool. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 5 Oct 1997 22:45:47 +0000 From: Jack Shea Subject: True German Language Years ago working with a fellow who came here from Germany, he was talking about the flight over. He told me how thrilling it was and the anxiety he and his wife had coming to live in a new country. They were very anxious when the could see New York City from the sky and as the plane was coming in they heard the Captain say they would have to circle the airport because of mist on the runway. Dieter told his wife there was no way he was getting off the plane. It seems there is a German word pronounced the same as "mist" and it means 'manure"!!! ------------------------------ End of HUMOR Digest - 5 Oct 1997 to 6 Oct 1997 **********************************************