Digest for Saturday, April 10, 1993
There are 9 messages totalling 169 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
- Anti-female joke
- Bumpersticker
- Re: Bumpersticker
- cannabilism [pg-13]
- Portagees in Hawaii (Gen. Aud.)
- Re: Bumpersticker
- Jewish humor!!!!!
- Golf Joke Rated G
- Re: Bumpersticker
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 00:44:06 +0200
From: Tom De Koninck <tdkonin@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE>
Subject: Anti-female joke
Q: What did god say when Eve washed herself for the first time in the ocean?
A: "Shit, no I'll never get that smell out of the fish !
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 11:33:36 +0200
From: Tom De Koninck <tdkonin@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE>
Subject: Bumpersticker
Once saw this one on a car in small print
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ' RE DRIVING DAMN CLOSE TO ME !
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 15:07:00 EST
From: Shirley D. Kennedy (813) 442-9066<KENNEDS@MAIL.FIRN.EDU>
Subject: Re: Bumpersticker
One of my all-time favorites, seen on a car in the parking lot at a local
mall:
"Preachers do it with Amazing Grace"
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 15:44:00 EDT
From: Alex Leary <LEARYJ@SNYCORVA.BITNET>
Subject: cannabilism [pg-13]
What did the cannibal say to his brother when he (passed) him in the
woods?
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 11:29:02 -1000
From: Kevin Roddy <KRODDY@UHUNIX.BITNET>
Subject: Portagees in Hawai'i (Gen. Aud.)
There's a large Portuguese population here in the islands--"Polish jokes"
substitute Portuguese, or "Portagee" in Hawaiian Pidgin (Da Kine Talk).
Did you hear about the two Portagees that drove to the airport, saw the
sign "Airport Left" and went back home?
I know you're groaning out there, but it was really funny when this
Portuguese/Filipino woman told it...
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 18:23:56 -0500
From: Shelly <HNJJEBB@IUP.BITNET>
Subject: Re: Bumpersticker
How about this one I saw in a store:
"Dyslexics Untie!"
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 22:21:53 -0400
From: Michael Gold <GOLD@VAX.LIBRARY.UTORONTO.CA>
Subject: Jewish humor!!!!!
A bumber sticker I saw:
A Christian bumber sticker:
I FOUND IT!
A Jewish bumper sticker:
5000 YEARS AND WE NEVER LOST IT!
mICHAEL gOLD
UnIvErSiTy Of ToRoNtO
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 22:48:30 LCL
From: Stephen Wall-Buchanan <srwall@MAIL.WM.EDU>
Subject: Golf Joke Rated G
I'm new to the list, so I hope that this goes to the right place and
doesn't duplicate anything recent.
Christ, Noah, and Moses are up in heaven, and they want to play golf.
They have this really great golf course up there, and there's never a
wait for a tee time. Anyway, they start looking around for someone
else to play with, in order to make it a foursome. They see this old
guy sitting in the locker room getting ready, so they ask him if he
wants to play, and he says yes.
They go out to play, and when they're out on the third tee, the
score is still pretty close. The third hole has a really big
water trap right in front of the green, and everyone always
seems to hit it short, right in there. Moses is up first, and he
hits it short, as usual, and the ball is rolling towards the water
trap. Then suddenly, the water parts and the ball rolls right
through and onto the green.
Noah is up next, and he hits the ball short also, except that the
ball is boucing towards the water when it lands on the back of a
turtle, which takes the ball across the water and drops it on the
green.
As I said, this is a chronic problem, and Christ hits his ball
short too, and it rolls towards the water trap. But instead of
sinking, it rolls right across the top of the water and lands on the
green.
After all of this, they're wondering what this old man is going
to do to match this. He hits the ball, and slices it really badly.
It is going towards this really big tree on the side of the course
when a squirrel runs out on a limb and catches the ball in it's
mouth. It runs farther up the tree, and an eagle swoops out of the
sky and grabs the squirrel and the ball and is flying away when
suddenly the sky gets dark and cloudy, and a lightning bolt comes out
of nowhere and strikes the eagle. The eagle drops the squirrel, the
squirrel drops the ball, and it bounces on the green and drops right
in the hole.
Everyone is amazed except Christ, who just looks at the old guy
and says,
"Nice shot, Dad."
Stephen Wall-Buchanan
srwall@mail.wm.edu
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1993 23:02:58 MDT
From: Marianne <MLYONS@UALTAVM.BITNET>
Subject: Re: Bumpersticker
Or this one:
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I *DO* OWN THE ROAD
Or:
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I DRIVE STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK
Then there's the story of the guy who was on a trip to the far
east. As he landed, he could see the neon sign in the distance
proclaiming ISLAMABAD AIRPORT . A few weeks later,
on the return trip, he saw the same sign. By now however, some of
the letters had burned out and the sign now proclaimed
IS A BAD AIRPORT.
==========
------------------------------
Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index