Digest for Saturday, September 04, 1993

Topics of the day:

1. Re: Henry the Sperm (Dirty,very)
2. Re: Request for Canadian humor
3. Yosel the tailor (Jewish folk tale)

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Date:         Sat, 4 Sep 1993 16:50:21 IST
From:         John Bastian/Johnny <johnny@ITIBANG.ERNET.IN>
Subject:      Re: Henry the Sperm (Dirty,very)

Then there were a group of ambitious sperms, eagerly waiting for their
day to come. One morning they got news that their time's about to
come and all of the started jogging, doing push-ups ...... just anything
- to do it. One guy said, "If I am successful, I'd become a
doctor". "I'd be a lawyer", said another. "I'd become the
president", said a long tail. As they were discussing their future
careers, the big moment came, and out they splashed onto the floor!
They looked up at he guy (who'd just finished masturbating) and
yelled - "You bastard! You spoiled all our careers!"

Credits: Venki, svenkate@india.ingr.com
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Date:         Sat, 4 Sep 1993 08:28:27 PDT
From:         Dave Gomberg <GOMBERG@UCSFVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: Request for Canadian humor

Well, a stranger walks into a Nova Scotia bar and says to the bartender:
"Hey, you wanna hear a great Newfie joke?"

The bartender snarls, stands up straight exposing his arms he uses for
bouncing obstreperous customers and says, "Wait a minute.  I'm a Newfie."

"And see that fellow over there by the jukebox with the chains?  He works
down at the ways and drags the boats up by hand.  He's a Newfie."

"And that guy in the leather jacket with him, he repairs boat engines and
he's a Newfie too.  Now, do you still want to tell a Newfie joke?"

The visitor looks around at the other men and shakes his head, "Naw, I
don't want to have to explain it three times."

Dave Gomberg, role model for those who don't ask much in their fantasy lives.
GOMBERG@UCSFVM  Internet node UCSFVM.UCSF.EDU             fax-> (415)731-7797
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Date:         Sat, 4 Sep 1993 22:51:22 -0700
From:         NADAV 666-2973 (415) <AHARONOV@STU.ADMIN.USFCA.EDU>
Subject:      Yosel the tailor (Jewish folk tale)

Note: Lo Idati in Hebrew means "I don't know"

The King issued a decree that on a certain day the Jews of the city were to
present a champion to dispute with a Christian scholar who was a great
Bible authority and theologian.  The loser would forfeit his life.  No one
wanted the honor except Yosel the tailor.  The day for the disputation
arrived.  The Tailor went first: "If your are such an authority on Jewish
lore, then tell me: what is the meaning of Lo Idati?"
"I don't know," answered the scholar, readily.
"Aha!" Cried the tailor exultantly. "Let me ask you again: what is the meaning
of Lo Idati ?
"I don't know," answered the scholar, this time with some exasperation.

The King hearing the scholar's apparent admission of ignorance for the
second time ordered the scholar to be hung and Yosel the winner.

Later the townspeople ask the tailor how he hit upon such a clever plan.
Answered the tailor: I looked it up in the Yiddish dictionary and it said
it didn't know so I thought if the Yiddish dictionary doesn't know
how can this Gentile know and, as you see, I was right.
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