Digest for Saturday, January 01, 1994
There are 4 messages totalling 125 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
- A Roosters Life (Farm Humor)
- 5 elephant jokes
- Crying too much
- You cant borrow it
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Date: Sat, 1 Jan 1994 00:55:38 -0500
From: Robert Carta <rcarta@BIX.COM>
Subject: A Rooster's Life (Farm Humor)
A farmer had just introduced a new rooster into the hen house.
The old rooster was a little upset by this, because it meant that he
would soon meet his demise.
The old rooster approached the new rooster and said, "Listen, son. If I
let you take over here, I'm bound to find my head on the chopping block.
I'll make a deal with you. You can have all the young hens in this
hen house, as long as I can keep the two old ones over there in the
corner. Then, that old farmer won't think I can't perform."
The new rooster said, "No way. I'm a rooster and I must be king. If
you can't perform any more, that's not my problem. You'll just have to
get out of the way, old man."
The old rooster, pleading, said, "Well, I'll tell you what. I'll give
you all the hens without a fight. Just do me one last favor. Let's
hold a race around the hen house, just so the farmer will see there's
still some life in me. It might prolong my life just a little more."
The young rooster said, "O.K. It can't hurt. I'll give you a 10-length
handicap."
So, the roosters began to race around the barn. The old rooster was
slow, and it didn't take long for those 10 lengths to disappear. Just
as the two roosters were rounding the corner, the young rooster closed
in on the old rooster.
The farmer, watching from the porch, stood up, got his rifle, took aim,
and blew away the young rooster, exclaiming,
"Dag-Nabbit! That's the 3rd gay rooster I bought this month!"
Robert Carta
rcarta@bix.com
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Date: Sat, 1 Jan 1994 11:10:42 EST
From: Bill <BEDWARDS@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU>
Subject: 5 elephant jokes
This recollection of elephant jokes comes from
From: Joseph Fusco <jffavc@OKWAY.OKSTATE.EDU>
Subject: Elephants - I Just HAD to
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW?
A: Four. Two in front, two in back.
Q: How can you tell if you have an elephant in your fridge?
A: All the Jell-o is gone
Q: How can you tell if you have two elephants in your fridge?
A: All the Jell-o is gone, and there's tracks in the butter
Q: How can you tell if you have three elephants in your fridge?
A: All the Jell-o is gone, there's tracks in the butter, and the roast
is half eaten.
Q: How can you tell if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW parked out front.
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Date: Sat, 1 Jan 1994 11:27:05 EST
From: Sara Rummelhart <RUMMELH@USCN.BITNET>
Subject: Crying too much <rude language>
Martha Hammer had just come bck from a garment-industry convention when
her secretary walked into her office. "Martha, you look awful. Are you
sick?"
"No, but it's a long story."
"So tell me."
"Well, the first night of the convention, I met this gorgeous hunk at the
bar," she explained. "Turns out he's a buyer who really likes our
products. One thing led to another and before you know it, we're back in
his room fucking our brains out."
"What's the big deal?"
"Nothing. But afterward, he sat in bed and started sobbing. See, he's
married with five kids at home. His crying got me thinking about my Harold
and our two kids. That's when I started bawling."
"But, Martha, that was more than seven days ago. Why are your eyes still
so red?"
"If you cried your eyes out three times day for a week, you'd look like
hell, too."
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Date: Sat, 1 Jan 1994 19:10:29 EST
From: Joe Mole <JOEMOLE@USCN.BITNET>
Subject: You can't borrow it <Mulla Nasrudin>
WHOM DO YOU BELIEVE?
A neighbor went to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey. "It
is out on loan," said the Mulla.
At that moment the donkey was heard to bray, somewhere inside
the stable.
"But I can hear it bray, in there."
"Whom do you believe," said the Mulla, "me or a donkey?"
A CLOTHESLINE
A neighbor came to borrow Nasrudin's clothesline.
"I am sorry but I am drying flour on it."
"But how can you dry flour on a line?"
"It is less difficult than you think, when you don't want to
lend it."
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