Digest for Thursday, November 03, 1994

There are 16 messages totalling 660 lines in this issue.




Topics of the day:

  1. More GOP comedy: Sergeant of Arms and the HouseKeeper
  2. word play
  3. Bill Gates Goes to Heaven (1 Offensive 3-letter adjective)
  4. A joke
  5. computer humor
  6. Now *who*s Gods party?
  7. Humor: Conversation on a plane (Off to Christian Fundamentalists)
  8. Clinton Joke
  9. HMO
  10. Humor: Sex Through The Ages
  11. Dumb questions & talking dog joke
  12. Life 6.J A collection of clean humor gathered on: 29 Aug 90
  13. FW: This would not surprise me at all
  14. Sexual Harassment Permission Form
  15. FW: Koala Sweat Tea - A Little Friday Humor
  16. Koala Sweat Tea - A Little Friday Humor


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 01:07:32 EST
From:    Sim Webster <WEBSTER@USCN.BITNET>
Subject: More GOP comedy: Sergeant of Arms and the HouseKeeper

Newt Gingrich, the next Speaker of the House, in order to broaden
his Southern GOP powerbase has decided to select G. Gordon Liddy
(a New York Yankee, faithful Republican, and open-mouthed radio
talker) to be the next Sergeant of Arms. Liddy will be allowed
to keep his talk show and he will be allowed to present his show on
NPR in place of *All Things Considered*.

The House Republicans plan to create a new position, HouseKeeper.
Pat Schroeder (a Colorado Democrat) will be assigned this duty. If
she doesn't perform of duties competently she will have her pay docked
to pay for undocmented workers from California to do the work.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 02:49:31 -0500
From:    AdinaS@AOL.COM
Subject: word play

We alread knew that Progress is the opposite of congress.  RB Trary  pointed
out in the "San Diego Mensan" magazine that impregnale's opposite
is....impregnable.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 03:00:32 -0500
From:    Timothy Abicht <ERIOND@AOL.COM>
Subject: Bill Gates Goes to Heaven (1 Offensive 3-letter adjective)

ALT.BEST.OF.INTERNET Item
=======================================================

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven.  When he
got there, he had to wait in the reception area.

Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts.  There were literally
millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day.
 Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while
staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Booze and
drugs were being passed around.  Fights were commonplace.
Sanitation conditions were appalling.  All in all, the scene looked like
Woodstock gone metastatic.

Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the staffers
approached him.  The staffer was a young man in his late teens, face scarred
with acne.  He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM PETER
emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.

"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the voice of
any clerk in any overgrown bureaucracy.  "My name is Gabriel and I'll be your
induction coordinator."  Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel
interrupted him.  "No, I'm not the Archangel Gabriel.  I'm just a guy from
Philadelphia named Gabriel who died in a car wreck at the age of 17.  Now
give me your name, last name first, unless you were Chinese in which case
it's first name first."

"Gates, Bill."  Gabriel started searching though the sheaf of papers on his
clipboard, looking for Bill's Record of Earthly Works.  "What's going on
here?" asked Bill.  "Why are all these people here?  Where's Saint Peter?
 Where are the Pearly Gates?"

Gabriel ignored the questions until he located Bill's records.  Then Gabriel
looked up in surprise.  "It says here that you were the president of a large
software company.  Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Well then, do the math, chip-head!  When this Saint Peter business started,
it was an easy gig.  Only a hundred or so people died every day, and Peter
could handle it all by himself, no problem.  But now there are over five
billion people on earth.  Jesus, when God said to 'go forth and multiply,' he
didn't say 'like rabbits!'  With that large a population, ten thousand people
die every hour.  Over a quarter-million people a day.  Do you think Peter can
meet them all personally?"

"I guess not."

"You guess right.  So Peter had to franchise the operation.  Now, Peter is
the CEO of Team Peter Enterprises, Inc.  He just sits in the corporate
headquarters and sets policy.  Franchisees like me handle the actual
inductions."  Gabriel looked though his paperwork some more, and then
continued. "Your paperwork seems to be in order.  And with a background like
yours, you'll be getting a plum job assignment."

"Job assignment?"

"Of course.  Did you expect to spend the rest of eternity sitting on your ass
and drinking ambrosia?  Heaven is a big operation.  You have to pull your
weight around here!" Gabriel took out a triplicate form, had Bill sign at the
bottom, and then tore out the middle copy and handed it to Bill. "Take this
down to induction center #23 and meet up with your occupational orientator.
 His name is Abraham."  Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel
interrupted him. "No, he's not *that* Abraham."

Bill walked down a muddy trail for ten miles until he came to induction
center #23.  He met with Abraham after a mere six-hour wait.

"Heaven is centuries behind in building its data processing infrastructure,"
explained Abraham.  "As you've seen, we're still doing everything on paper.
 It takes us a week just to process new entries."

"I had to wait *three* weeks," said Bill.  Abraham stared at Bill angrily,
and Bill realized that he'd made a mistake.  Even in Heaven, it's best not to
contradict a bureaucrat.  "Well," Bill offered, "maybe that Bosnia thing has
you guys backed up."

Abraham's look of anger faded to mere annoyance.  "Your job will be to
supervise Heaven's new data processing center.  We're building the largest
computing facility in creation.  Half a million computers connected by a
multi-segment fiber optic network, all running into a back-end server network
with a thousand CPUs on a gigabit channel.  Fully fault tolerant.  Fully
distributed processing.  The works."

Bill could barely contain his excitement.  "Wow!  What a great job!  This is
really Heaven!"

"We're just finishing construction, and we'll be starting operations soon.
Would you like to go see the center now?"

"You bet!"

Abraham and Bill caught the shuttle bus and went to Heaven's new data
processing center.  It was a truly huge facility, a hundred times bigger than
the Astrodome.  Workmen were crawling all over the place, getting the miles
of fiber optic cables properly installed.  But the center was dominated by
the computers.  Half a million computers, arranged neatly row-by-row, half a
million ....

.... Macintoshes ....

.... all running Claris software!  Not a PC in sight!  Not a single byte of
Microsoft code!

The thought of spending the rest of eternity using products that he had spent
his whole life working to destroy was too much for Bill.  "What about PCs???"
he exclaimed. "What about Windows???  What about Excel???  What about
Word???"

"You're forgetting something," said Abraham.

"What's that?" asked Bill plaintively.

"This is Heaven," explained Abraham.  "We need a computer system that's
heavenly to use.  If you want to build a data processing center based on PCs
running Windows, then....

     .... GO TO HELL!"
--------

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 04:20:28 -0500
From:    Keith Willauer <synapse@VT.EDU>
Subject: A joke <contains implied profanity>

What do the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?


They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 09:30:50 EST
From:    JOHN STONE <JSTONE@LETTERKENN-EMH2.ARMY.MIL>
Subject: computer humor

First, thanks to the 100's of guys who commented about cucumbers.
Your right they can't/won't; walk the dog, mow the grass, take out the
trash, fix the car...............etc.


   F  U  CN  RD  THS,  U  CN  GT  A  GD  JB  N  CMPTR  PRGRMMNG.






(if you can read this you can get a good job in computer programming)

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 08:35:53 -0600
From:    Ian Chai <spectre@UIUC.EDU>
Subject: Now *who*'s God's party?

My roommate's name is Dwight Divine -- he thinks they got that last
name because of an ancestor who was a priest back when Western Rite
Catholic priests were allowed to marry.

The other day, we got this in the mail:

        LAUREL PRUSSING
      State Representative

   Common Sense and Integrity

       Vote November 8th

-----------------------------------------------
                                Non Profit Org.
                                 U.S. Postage
                                     PAID
                                Democratic Party
                                  of Illinois

To:
        THE DIVINE FAMILY
        OR CURRENT OCCUPANT
        309 N BUSEY APT 3
        URBANA, IL 618010000
==================================================

Hmm, so Laurel Prussing is trying to get the vote from Joseph and Mary,
eh? (I suppose the Baby Jesus can't vote?)
===================================================================

In other news, regarding that message posted yesterday about Susan
Smith's 2 kids who were allegedly taken in a carjacking -- turns out
she just confessed to murdering them. Here's an excerpt of what AP has
to say about it:

        UNION, S.C. (AP) -- She spun a heartbreaking tale of being
dumped on a lonely road by a carjacker who abducted her two young sons,
and her tearful pleas on national television for their return
inspired a search from Georgia to Seattle.
        Now Susan Smith has confessed to killing her sons, according to
an arrest warrant. And the nine-day search by authorities and
hundreds of volunteers for 3-year-old Michael and 14-month-old Alex
ended where their mother's story began: John D. Long Lake.
        Mrs. Smith's burgundy 1990 Mazda was pulled out of the lake
Thursday night, the bodies of two children in the back seat. She
was to be arraigned today on two charges of murder.
...
        Residents of this mill town who searched and prayed for the
children reacted with anger and bitterness. Dozens of people
outside the county courthouse gasped and sobbed when the charges
were announced.
        ``If you could see the way she acted that night, that's the
main thing that gets me,'' said Rick McCloud Jr., who was at home with
his parents on Oct. 25 when Mrs. Smith pounded on their door,
crying for help. ``Just to think, for a solid week I was defending
her. It gets me sick to my stomach.''
...

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 10:27:09 -0400
From: Sometimes I really wish I could be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now. <JBOLOGNA@BENTLEY.EDU>
Subject: Humor: Conversation on a plane (Off to Christian Fundamentalists)

  This actually happened to a friend of a friend...

  We've all been in discussions with fundamentalist Christians at one time or
another that have annoyed the heck out of us (if not, you have yet to live).
  My friend, who met this character on an airplane, came up with a very good,
effective way to silence someone of this persuasion:
  He said all this with a completely straight face.
        Man on the plane:       "Soooooooo... what church do YOU go to?"
        My friend:              "Well, [long pause here]...I'm a Druid."
        Man:                    "I beg your pardon?"
        Friend:                 "We worship trees."
        Man (after a pause):    "Oh, ..."
  After this, the man seemed a little disappointed, so my friend added:
                 "If YOU were from Amarillo, you'd worship trees, too!"

[Note:  Amarillo, Texas, in the heart of the Bible Belt, is known for its
completely featureless, flat, boring landscape.]
                -               -               -               -
On a non-humorous note in response to an earlier "public service" posting
 about the two kids missing in a S. Carolina carjacking.
According to last nights 11o'clock news, the car and the childrens' bodies
 were found in a nearby lake.  The mother has failed 2 lie detector tests and
 is currently being charged with 2 counts of murder.
Sorry to add such a distressing note to the end of my post, but I wanted to
 notify the original poster and illustrate one of the main reasons
 cross-posting is frowned upon.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 10:26:33 -0500
From:    Anthony Bivens <Muenchener@AOL.COM>
Subject: Clinton Joke

Five members of the Army football team have been accused now of sexually
harassing female cadets at a pep rally.  And who says the military doesn't
look up to President Clinton?
--David Letterman, 11/03/94

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 09:33:31 CST
From:    Sara B. Grimes <VMSARAG@VETMED.VETMED.MISSOURI.EDU>
Subject: HMO <Offensive to those who love them>

Three doctors died and went before St. Peter.  The first one walks
up and St. Peter says:
   Let's see here, it looks like you worked in an emergency room in a
   busy city for many years and never took a vacation.  You are
   obviously a man of great conviction.  Pass right on through.
Second one walks up:
   You were a pediatrician that helped terminally ill children
   through their final days.  Very compassionate.  Right this way.
Third one:
   Humm, you worked for an Health Maintenance Organization?  Well,
   okay, go ahead.  You've got three days.

Take Care,
Sara Grimes

vmsarag@vetmed.vetmed.missouri.edu

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 12:06:00 -0500
From:    Matthew Grob <Matthew.Grob@MCHIS.MED.NYU.EDU>
Subject: Humor: Sex Through The Ages <language>

Another goodie from my mom . . .

The young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather
about sex.  He asked how often you should have it.  His grandfather told
him that when you first get married you want it all the time and maybe
even do it several times a day.  Later on, sex tapers off and you have
it maybe one once a week or so.  Then, as you get older, you have sex
maybe once a month.  When you get really old, you're lucky to have it
once a year -- maybe on your anniversary.

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well, how about you and
grandma now?"  His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."

"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.  "Well," grandpa said, "she
goes to bed in her bedroom and I go to bed in my bedroom and she yells
'fuck you' and I holler back 'fuck you too'."

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 12:33:29 EST
From:    Clarity Hands <CLEAN@USCN.BITNET>
Subject: Dumb questions & talking dog joke

Dumb Questions

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?
Who is "they" anyway?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the
 expected and so therefore one is expecting the expected?
How does one expect the unexpected?
Why do women wear a pair of panties and one bra?
Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Where does weight go when you lose it?
Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
How long is a short story?
Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
Why do people cry when they're sad?
What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
If rainy days and Mondays get you down, what do you do
 on rainy Mondays?
Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
Why am I asking all these things?
Why did you read this?
Am I really seeking answers?
What do you think?

----


A man was selling his dog and his neighbour came over to make an
offer.

"I was a stand-in for Lassie for many years in the movies," said
the  dog.

"Wow!" said the neighbour.

"And I was once the most famous dog in vaudeville," said the dog.

"Amazing!" said the neighbour.

"And I flew an air force bomber in WWII," said the dog.

"I can't believe it!" said the neighbour. Then he turned to the
owner and said, "Why are you getting rid of a talking dog?"

"Well," replied the owner, "I'm tired of his lies."

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 09:49:58 PST
From:    cate3.osbu_north@XEROX.COM
Subject: Life  6.J    A collection of clean humor gathered on: 29 Aug 90

"                            ." -- Harpo Marx
Be it our wealth, our jobs, or even our homes, nothing is safe while
     the legislature is in session.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
If not controlled, work flows to the competent person until he is submerged.
It is smart to pick your friends--but not to pieces.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.

No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings.
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Taxpayers don't have to take a civil service exam to work for the government.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
The universe is all a spinoff of the Big Bang.
The world isn't worse.  Its just that the news coverage is so much better.
There is only one way to kill capitalism--by taxes, taxes, and more taxes.
UFOs are real.  The Air Force doesn't exist.
Under every stone lurks a politician.

We may be alone.  We may not be alone.  Either way, the thought is staggering.
Why do we study poverty instead of wealth?
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
You cannot use your friends and have them too.

Man does not control his own fate.  The women in his life do that
        for him--Groucho Marx
Beyond the Alps lies more Alps, and the Lord alps those that
        alps themselves--Groucho Marx
If you have a lot of lucky breaks, it isn't just an accident--Groucho Marx
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of
        under observation--Walter Winchell

TV is a medium--so called because it is neither rare nor well done--Ernie Kovacs
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
        there--Will Rogers
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love
        their mother--Reverend Theodore Hesburgh
No man ever said on his deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time on
        my business"--Senator Paul Tsongas

As scarce as the truth is, the supply is always greater than
        the demand--Josh Billings
Keep doing good deeds long enough, and you'll probably turn out a good man.
        In spite of yourself--Louis Auchincloss
To test the worth of a man's religion, do business
        with him--John Lancaster Spalding

Life is like a game of cards.  The hand that is dealt you represents
        determinism; the way you play it is free will--Jawaharlal Nehru
A man who has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it,
        is committing a second mistake--Confucius
Ours seems to be the only nation on earth that asks its teenagers what
        to do about world affairs, and tells its golden-agers to go out
        and play--Julian Grow

The man who is too old to learn was probably always too old
        to learn--Henry Haskins
The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without
        proving that you are unworthy of winning--Adlai Stevenson
There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is
        no party of principle--Alexis de Tocqueville

I would rather be governed by the first 300 names in the Boston telephone book
        than by the faculty of Harvard University--William F Buckley, Jr
In peace, sons bury their fathers; in war, fathers bury their sons--Herodotus
Pacifism means biology takes precedence over morality: long lives are
        more valuable than good lives--Dennis Prager
When you reread a classic, you do not see more in the book than you did
        before; you see more in you than there was before--Clifton Fadiman

Most politicians don't listen to their conscience, because, after all,
        who wants to take advice from a total stranger?
Children today are tyrants.  They contradict their parents, gobble
        their food, and tyrannize their teachers--Socrates
Society is a place where people live together; the lone wolf belongs in
        the wilderness--Number Two, the Prisoner
Honesty is the best policy--there's less competition.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 09:53:00 PST
From:    Scott Hysmith <scotth@ASYMETRIX.COM>
Subject: FW: This would not surprise me at all

<<forwards in line for the beta program>>

**** PRESS RELEASE ****

Microsoft Corporation today announced plans to buy the Philadelphia
Mint from the United States government.  Final details of the
transaction were hammered out in an all night bargaining session
which included President Bill Clinton representing the US, and four
unnamed chorus girls. An obviously fatigued and smiling
Clinton emerged from the meeting and stated that he saw no
chance that there would be opposition from anyone within the
government.  In an effort to appease regulators, Microsoft
gave a copy of Windows NT and a box of paper clips to Novell.

Microsoft said it intends to print money in direct competition with
the US Government. Microsoft chairman, Bill Gates, declared, "The
Government has no vision and we intend to eventually take over all
operations." The official announcement was made by Microsoft
spokesman, Brad Silverberg, who showed reporters an alpha version of
the currency Microsoft will release next year.  The currency, called
simply "Money" (patent pending) bears a striking resemblance to US
currency . When questioned about this, Silverberg stated that the US
Government had obviously copied the design.  Silverberg alleged that
this was constantly happening to Microsoft, citing Apple's theft of
the Windows look and feel, and Stac's pilfering of on-the-fly disk
compression as only two examples.

Gates said the acquisition was made in order to move closer to his
grand vision of "Money always at my fingertips." Gates further stated
that the move to 32 bit operating systems would make it difficult "for
the lemms, uh, I mean, users to continue throwing money at Microsoft
in ever increasing amounts."  "This (acquisition) will make it
unnecessary for our customers to continue to struggle with the
challenge of actually buying and installing software," continued
Gates.

Response within the industry and government was immediate.  All major
ISV's appeared at the press conference and announced support for
Money. Steve Gibson called the acquisition "the most earth shattering
event in the history of the world, without question."  Brian
Livingston said this was the most exciting news "since cousin Pee Wee
got his own television show." Ed Bott declared that PC Computing would
dedicate its next twelve issues to the new Money and said we would
"all be using it soon." Jim Seymour stated that "the miraculous Money
is now the standard for currency in the United States."  Hillary
Clinton was not available for comment.

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 12:46:59 EST
From:    Sara Rummelhart <RUMMELH@USCN.BITNET>
Subject: Sexual Harassment Permission Form

THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORM

Name: _______________________________  SOCIAL SECURITY No: ___________________
ADDRESS: ____________________________  CITY: _________________________________
STAFF ELEMENT: ______________________  HOME PHONE No.: _______________________
MALE: ____________ FEMALE: __________  OFFICE PHONE No.: _____________________
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male - Female
                   Female - Female
                   Male - Male
                   All of the Above
                   None of the Above - Please Specify: _______________________

I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT:

Salutatory Greeting: _____________________
Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________
Eye-to-Bust Contact: _____________________
Eye-to-Below Waist Contact: ______________

Heavy breathing on neck: _________________
                   ear: __________________
                   other: ________________

Hands on body: ___________________________
         shoulder: _______________________
         waist: __________________________
         Gluteus Maximus: ________________
         other: __________________________

Feelies: _________________________________
Gropies: _________________________________
Penetration (however slight): ____________
Other: ___________________________________
All of the above: ________________________


MISCELLANEOUS:    I WILL      I WILL NOT

1.  Assist in procurement of various potions, lotions, products, appliances,
    etc. to be used during sexual harassment.
2.  Assist in procurement and maintenance of various types of sustaining
    apparatus.
3.  Clean up.


I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:

Anyone: ____________________________________
Anyone But: ________________________________
Only: ______________________________________

SIGNATURE: _______________________________________  DATE:
_____________________
This form is to be reviewed by immediate supervisor annually, prior to
performance rating and evaluation.

The funny thing about this form, which I did not write, is that you
know for certain what HIS sexual orientation is! Sara

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 15:37:00 PST
From:    Jeff Rollosson Halbhuber <JeffRH@ASYMETRIX.COM>
Subject: FW: Koala Sweat Tea - A Little Friday Humor

  <forwards ducking and running for cover>

A small plane crashes in the Australian outback.  The pilot is rescued by
some Nuns (the Sister's of Mercy) who nurse him back to health.  He was
unconscious when they picked him up, and when he awoke the first thing he
saw was a nun holding a cup of liquid.

She says, "Here, drink this.  Its a special tea made from the sweat of a
Koala Bear."

He tastes it and finds that its got something granular in the tea.  "Hey,
they're is something floating in this tea!"

She replies, "Of course, dear.  Don't you know that the Koala Tea of Mercy
is not strained?"

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Fri, 4 Nov 1994 16:02:00 PST
From:    Wayland Wasserman <waylandw@ASYMETRIX.COM>
Subject: Re: Koala Sweat Tea - A Little Friday Humor

Very little.
 ----------
From: Jeff Rollosson Halbhuber
To: Bernard Littau; Scott Hysmith; Tim Lesher; Wayland Wasserman; Humor
Subject: FW: Koala Sweat Tea - A Little Friday Humor
Date: Friday, November 04, 1994 3:37PM


  <forwards ducking and running for cover>

A small plane crashes in the Australian outback.  The pilot is rescued by
some Nuns (the Sister's of Mercy) who nurse him back to health.  He was
unconscious when they picked him up, and when he awoke the first thing he
saw was a nun holding a cup of liquid.

She says, "Here, drink this.  Its a special tea made from the sweat of a
Koala Bear."

He tastes it and finds that its got something granular in the tea.  "Hey,
they're is something floating in this tea!"

She replies, "Of course, dear.  Don't you know that the Koala Tea of Mercy
is not strained?"

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index