Digest for Sunday, December 04, 1994
There are 18 messages totalling 747 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
- Student bloopers
- Woman Joke
- Cows
- Humor: 50 ways to confuse your roommate...2 of 2...
- Boner Candidates, Offensive to MTV VJs, Limo Drivers,
- did you know? (short and nice)
- Nasty Limerick
- Barney the Purple Dinosaur^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HLight Brown Hamster & Hillarys Love Child
- Humor: New viral outbreaks (funny)
- offen. to hearing impaired, vulgar, "F"word
- Michigan city names
- Draft day speculating(offensive to UW)
- Yet another gross Dahmer joke (groan)
- Yet another gross Dahmer joke (groan) -- try #2
- Life 6.U A collection of clean humor gathered on: 19 Jan 91
- Pentium humor (fwd)
- Adult themes (Off. to Newfies)
- Xmas Letter & Application (Slightly Offensive)
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 03:52:39 AST
From: David Babineau <babind@NBNET.NB.CA>
Subject: Student bloopers
Going through a box of odd humorous clippings, I came across these with a
note they were by Elisabeth Kastner, but I do not know where they were
taken from. I would be interested in more, either on the list, or sent to my
address.
David
1. Typhoid fever may be prevented by fascination.
2. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote 'The Organ of Species'.
3. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backward.
4. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think.
5. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, veins, and caterpillars.
6. A thermometer is an instrument for raising temperature.
7. The earth makes a resolution every twenty-four hours.
8. Algebraical symbols are used when you don't know what you are talking
about.
9. A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.
10. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene
triangle.
11. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only deader.
12. A liter is a nest of baby animals.
____________________________________________________________________________
These are from unknown sources:
1. If your triangles get four angles, you have wrecktangles.
2. The Moslems invented the '0' and showed us to think of nothing.
3. When we speak of a thing being mean, we know it is just the average
of the way things are today.
4. I have never seen a square root - but then, I never dig up trees.
5. Q: How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
A: You pull down its genes!
6. Idiom: a way of expressing things in another way.
7. Altar: where the priest says mass
Alter: to stop in German.
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 02:45:12 91
From: Temporary Drafter <Jeremy=Pulcifer%Buhr%UMTel@BFMAILER.BF.UMICH.EDU>
Subject: Re: Woman Joke <Women may be offended>
Slight variation to the joke already posted:
(in your mama format)
What's the differnce between a washing machine and Your Mama?
When you drop a load in a washing machine, it doesn't follow you around town
asking for money all week.
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 09:51:44 EST5EDT
From: Wayne Wood <WAYNE@PHYRES.LAN.MCGILL.CA>
Subject: Cows
Further to the legless dog riddle...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Wayne
Montreal
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 10:25:58 -0400
From: JBologna James Bologna <JBOLOGNA@BENTLEY.EDU>
Subject: Humor: 50 ways to confuse your roommate...2 of 2...
50 WAYS TO CONFUSE YOUR ROOMMATE
(Part II)
"By Brian and Andy"
26. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously.
27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can.
When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it.
If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he
reimburse you.
28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of
grievances.
29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and
then look away quickly.
31. Dye all your underwear lime green.
32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.
33. Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse
him/her of stealing it.
35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
36. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.
Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for
three weeks.
38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser.
Refuse to discuss them.
39. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
40. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with
"Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
41. Shave one eyebrow.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile
your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter
"Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
43. Put horseradish in your shoes.
44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly
that you can never find the book that you want.
45. Always flush the toilet three times.
46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at
least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an
assignment for your primitive cultures class.
48. Give him/her an allowance.
49. Listen to radio static.
50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them
as soon as you wake up.
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 10:47:54 -0700
From: David Cotton <DAVIDCO@WORDPERFECT.COM>
Subject: Boner Candidates, Offensive to MTV VJ's, Limo Drivers,
Lawyers
Today's boner candidates:
1) MTV VJ Kennedy Montgomery
Entertainment Weekly reported that she glanced at a
picture of two women and said, "Yup, there whores."
The two women saw this and are now suing her.
Plus at MTV Music Video awards she stood behind
Meryl Eck Rudolph Juliana deep throat a microphone.
So for having such a great sense of humor and being
a good role model for young women our first nominee.
2) Limousine driver Nataliano Silva
Is going to be arraigned today on charges that he took
seven youths aged 12-16 on a joy ride in which he
drove drunk, gave the youths alcohol, took them to an
adult entertainment parlor, made sexual remarks, and
locked them in the Limo when they tried to leave. He
was supposed to take them to a skating rink.
3) Utah Davis County Attorney's Office
Felony rape charges were supposed to be filed
Thursday (12/1) against Cedar City Police Officer
Calvin Orton. However, charges will not filed against
the officer until after he testifies at an arson trial this
week. They don't want his testimony to be tainted.
And the winner was:
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
While Kennedy received many votes, the final winner
was the Davis County Attorney's office.
Any spelling or punctuation errors are mine (after all I
got this off a radio station) and I apologize.
DavidCo@WordPerfect.com
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 11:00:30 -0700
From: Doug Gwilliam <DOUGGW@WORDPERFECT.COM>
Subject: did you know? (short and nice)
Last year about this time I found a $100 bill on the ground!
.....Took me about 4 months to pay it off!!
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 13:22:37 -0500
From: Keith Willauer <synapse@VT.EDU>
Subject: Nasty Limerick <crude language>
There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived on pigshit and snot
When she couldn't get these
She ate the green cheese
That she scraped from the sides of her twat
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 12:55:38 -0600
From: Ian Chai <spectre@UIUC.EDU>
Subject: Barney the Purple Dinosaur^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HLight Brown Hamster & Hillary's Love Child
Barney, one of my hamsters, bit me last night for no apparent reason. That
is, the apparent reason was I was trying to pick him up, but usually he
likes that because I either give him food or the ball... last night he
tried to escape from my hand instead, and when I foolishly tried to
keep holding on...
Someone suggested I might be having a "bad hamster day" 8-)
The following is something I read in the local paper the other day:
"I will say, if the alien baby comes, we're ready and
looking forward to it... I've always wanted a sibling for
Chelsea."
-- first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton after
being questioned about supermarket tabloid
articles that reported that she was pregnant
with an extra-terrestrial love child.
God bless & keep smiling,
Ian
(ouch, typing on this bitten finger hurts...)
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 13:14:22 CST
From: vampire lover <DYKH007@KIOWA.ASTATE.EDU>
Subject: Humor: New viral outbreaks (funny)
In light of the recent discussion of e-mail-transmitted viruses, I
thought I'd send this along for your amusement.
> BEWARE OF NEW VIRUS OUTBREAKS
>
> Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and
> then slowly expands back to 200MB
>
> AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
> getting
>
> MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
> for the AT&T virus
>
> Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
> you of impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by c:>
>
> Politically Correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers
> to itself as an "electronic microorganism"
>
> Right to Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
> old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
> counselor about possible alternatives
>
> Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the
> whole dang thing quits
>
> Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor
>
> Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back
>
> Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child process
> without joining into a binary network.
>
> Dan Quayle virus #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut
> cant figyour out watt!
>
> Government Economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software
> says everything is fine
>
> New World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
> really mad just thinking about it
>
> Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
> units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
> the most important part of your computer
>
> Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
> their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
> error.)
>
> Terry Randle virus: Prints "oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort"
>
> Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file
>
> Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple
>
> Bobbit Virus: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it
> (but that part will never work again)
>
> Congressional virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with
> a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
>
> Airline virus: You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore
>
> Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own
> motherboard
>
> Public Television virus: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for
> money
>
> Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self distructs
> only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural
> America.
>
> Olie North virus: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder
>
> Nike virus: Just does it
>
> Sears virus: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply
> and a set of shocks
>
> Jimmy Hoffa virus: Your programs can never be found again
>
> Congressional virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive
> simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything
>
> Kevorkian virus: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy
>
> Imelda Marcos virus: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
> subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
> shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
>
> Star Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before
>
> Health Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
> sends you a bill for $4,500
>
> George Bush virus: It starts by boldly stating "Read my docs...No new
> files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your
> hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional virus
>
> Denver Broncos virus: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT
>
> L.A.P.D. virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your
> PC and erases them in "self-defense"
>
> Oral Roberts virus: Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars,
> its programmer will take it back.
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 13:28:21 CST
From: vampire lover <DYKH007@KIOWA.ASTATE.EDU>
Subject: offen. to hearing impaired, vulgar, "F"word
One rainy day a man was driving down a country road only to run out of gas.
Walking to the nearest farm house to see if they could help him, he knocked
on the door, but didn't get any answer. He decided to walk around to the back
and look in the windows. Doing so, he saw a woman milking her breast over a
glass and in the corner a man masturbating holding an open umbrella.
Deciding these people were completely crazy, he went back to his car , got a
gas can, and walked about 2 miles to the nearest gas station. When he got
there, he told the attendant about the couple.
ATTEND. "Shoot, their deaf. That's how they communicate to each other."
MAN "What were they saying?"
ATTEND. "She was telling him to go milk the cow, and he was saying Fuck You
its raining outside."
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 11:33:11 PST
From: Mark S. Hutchenreuther <mshutch@SUNED1.NSWSES.NAVY.MIL>
Subject: Re: Michigan city names
I went to school for four long years at Michigan Tech, at the end of the
world in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I have to say that I think it
would be far more likely for Paradise to freeze than Hell. (Paradise is in
the UP on Lake Superior, Hell is near the bottom of the Lower Peninsula, in
a more moderate winter climate.
In the UP, directions are given in terms of bars, which were numerous in the
UP since there wasn't much else to do in the UP in winter. (Turn left at
Eino's bar, and drive until you get to Toivo's bar, ...) Some towns only
had one bar, so it was often referred to by the town's name.
The town of Gay was one such place. At the Tech, we used to love telling
people we were going to the Gay bar. If they weren't up on their UP
geography, they were often quite startled.
Some days you feel like Schroedinger's cat. (c) 1992 M. Hutchenreuther
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 14:11:21 -0600
From: Tom Behl <BEHLTJ@MAIL.STATE.WI.US>
Subject: Draft day speculating(offensive to UW)
Date: 12/05/94
From: Thomas J. Behl BEHLTJ - WSRC
To: OAS - EMX
Subject: Draft day speculating(offensive to UW)
Did you hear that the Chicago Bears are drafting Brent Moss of the Wisconsin
Badgers???
Since the got rid of the 'Fridge, they wanted a Coke machine.
No Badger assaults intended...just clean humor!
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 14:57:45 -0500
From: Nisheeth Parekh <nisheeth.parekh@UTMB.EDU>
Subject: Yet another gross Dahmer joke (groan)
_____________________________________________________________________________
Nisheeth Parekh --- University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston
nisheeth.parekh@utmb.edu
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 15:23:58 -0500
From: Nisheeth Parekh <nisheeth.parekh@UTMB.EDU>
Subject: Yet another gross Dahmer joke (groan) -- try #2
I don't know why this didn't post the first time, but here it goes again.
I was asked to post this by a friend who is a HUMOR subscriber, but not a
contributor.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after he dumped his significant other?
He wiped his ass.
please send flames to wmcdanie@beach.utmb.edu
_____________________________________________________________________________
Nisheeth Parekh --- University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston
nisheeth.parekh@utmb.edu
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 14:00:42 PST
From: cate3.osbu_north@XEROX.COM
Subject: Life 6.U A collection of clean humor gathered on: 19 Jan 91
----------------------------------------------------
Q: What does Saddam Hussein want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
HOTEL MANAGER: Well Mr Sloop, did you enjoy your stay here with us?
GUEST : Yes, but I'm a bit upset about leaving the place
now that I've practically bought it.
What do you call a Yugo that just hit a squirrel?
Totaled!
A Texas kindergarden teacher informed her class that the next day, she would
teach them how to draw.
Yep, that's right! The following day, 6 youngsters showed up with pistols!
The following is from the L.A. Times Magazine Nov.11,1990:
Brief anecdotes from the Dumb Crook News an occasional feature
of Out Front from the Charlotte Observer.
Robbery victims inspected a lineup up of 5 men in San Diego.
Each of the men in the lineup were ordered to step forward and
say,"Give me all the money-and I need some change in quarters and dimes.
The first two men got it right. The third man stepped forward and said,
"That isn't what I said."
A man in Delaware represented himselft at his trial for robbing a woman
at a gas station. In cross-examining a detective he said," Why are
you talking about some witness, man? There was only me and her at the store."
There was a bank robber once that was *so* stupid that he tried to have the
teller deposit the money he was stealing into his own bank account!
I think don't the police required *any* deduction to find him.
The somewhat dumb but pretty girl in the bank stood at the
window of the cashier's desk and smiled.
"I'd like to cash this cheque, please," she said, handing it
over. The clerk examined the cheque, then said : "Could you
identify yourself, Miss?"
For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a
bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror,
glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes - it's me, all right!"
Treu Story:
The Arizona (U.S.) Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering
metal imbedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road,
at the apex of a curve.
The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a
car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.
The boys in the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow got hold of a JATO unit, (Jet
Assisted Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give
heavy military transport planes an extra `push' for taking off from
short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert,
and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO
unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the JATO!!
Best as they could determine, he was doing somewhere between 250 and
300 mph (350-420kph) when he came to that curve....
The brakes were completely burned away, apparently from trying to slow the car.
MORAL: Solid-fuel rockets don't have an 'off'... once started,
they burn at full thrust 'till the fuel is all gone.
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 20:39:45 -0500
From: The Skeptic <z900672a@BCFREENET.SEFLIN.LIB.FL.US>
Subject: Pentium humor (fwd)
the "Intel Inside" sticker they put
on Pentiums?
A: Warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a
Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as
Multiply is to
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating
point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of
Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE
standards 754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If
you fly in aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the
correct
pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiii17 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating*
Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE
============================================
10. YOUR CURRENT COMPUTER IS TOO ACCURATE
9. YOU WANT TO GET INTO THE GUINNESS BOOK AS "OWNER OF MOST
EXPENSIVE
PAPERWEIGHT"
8. MATH ERRORS ADD ZEST TO LIFE
7. YOU NEED AN ALIBI FOR THE I.R.S.
6. YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT
5. YOU'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE A
PLAINTIFF
4. THE "INTEL INSIDE" LOGO MATCHES YOUR DECOR PERFECTLY
3. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CPU OVERHEATING
2. YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL FROM JPL
And the #1 reason to buy a Pentium machine:
1. IT'LL PROBABLY WORK
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Date: Tue, 6 Dec 1994 00:21:33 AST
From: David Babineau <babind@NBNET.NB.CA>
Subject: Adult themes (Off. to Newfies)
Speaking of "My father has two of them..." (December 2 Digest):
This linesman is working up a telephone pole and drops his pliers.
As he climbs down to pick them up, a kid who was watching him says:
--"My father has two pairs like that!"
The linesman climbs up again, but drops a screw-driver.
--"My father has two like that!", says the little boy again.
Before climbing up, the linesman goes for a leak.
--"I suppose your father has two like that?", he teases the boy.
--"No, but he's got one that would make two like that!"
--------------------------------------------------
.. and speaking of linesmen:
Two linesmen were installing a new telephone line in the desert. One goes
for a leak and gets bitten on the penis by a ratle-snake.
His friend up the pole, quickly phones for help.
"That shouldn't be a problem," answers the doctor, "Make a small incision,
and suck the venom".
"What did he say", asks the first one?
"He says you're gonna die!", answers his friend.
--------------------------------------------------
.. and of linesmen again, but Newfies this time:
A crew of Newfies were called to help install a new telephone line in
New-Brunswick. Reporting at the end of the first day, the Newbees had put in
23 posts, and the Newfies 4. At the end of the second day, the Newbees had
put in 25 posts, and the Newfies 5.
The foreman asked for some explanations.
"Not surprising", answers the head of the Newfie crew, "look at the long
ends the Newbees leave sticking out!"
---------------------------------------------------
.. Oh yes, speaking of Newfies:
How many Newfies does it take to eat a porcupine?
Three: Two to direct the traffic, and the third one to eat.
-----------------------------------------------------
.. and, speaking of porcupines:
Know what to do if you ever get lost in the woods in Canada?
You look up a tree. If you see a porcupine, throw rocks at him and force
him down. He'll lead you directly to the Trans-Canada Highway.
Bye for now,
David
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Date: Mon, 5 Dec 1994 23:03:38 EST
From: KEITH E SULLIVAN <DNWU64A@PRODIGY.COM>
Subject: Xmas Letter & Application (Slightly Offensive)
-- [ From: Keith E. Sullivan * EMC.Ver #2.10P ] --
I hope these two Holiday Humor pieces at least make you smile. I don't
know who wrote the Santa letter, but I made up the elf employment
application for a friend who was looking for a job a few years ago.
-----------------------------------
December 1, 1994
Santa Claus, Inc.
North Pole
Dear _____________,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree on Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days of
Christmas," but we have a little problem up here. The Twelve Fiddlers
fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the Ten Ladies
Dancing; the Eleven Lords a Leaping have knocked up the Eight Maids a
Milking; the Nine Pipers Playing have been arrested for doing weird
things to the Seven Swans a Swimming; and the Six Geese a Laying, Four
Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves, and the Partridge
In a Pear Tree have me up to my ass in bird crap!
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through the menopause, eight of
my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the Gay Liberation
Movement, and those dumb-ass Polacks have scheduled Christmas in Poland
for the 5th of February.
Sincerely,
SANTA
----------------------------------------
National Federation of Uniformed Elves
Main Office, North Pole
Female Elf Employment Application
1. Name: ________________________________________________________
2. Present Address: _____________________________________________
3. Age: _______ (If under 100, parental permission is required)
4. Height: ______ (If over 3 feet 6 inches, please attach waiver
application)
5. Present Occupation: ________________________ (If politician,
forget it!)
6. Hobbies: _____________________________________________________
(If boys, boys, boys, do you like "little, little" boys?)
7. Professional Qualifications: _________________________________
(Can you cook, sew, clean and other things male chauvinist
elves get off on?)
8. References: __________________________________________________
(No religious references please. They tend to lead us astray.)
9. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting a
reindeer? Yes ( ) No ( ) (if yes, you need not apply!)
10. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting little
elves? Yes ( ) No ( ) (If yes, when can you start?)
11. Please list FIVE "personal" references. All must be older
than 10 and still believe in Santa Claus. (Good Luck!) ______
______________________________________________________________
NFUE Form 69
Dec 1994 (Previous Versions Obsolete)
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