----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 08:58:06 +0100
From: Mark Mostert <MARKMOST@L.KTH.SE>
Subject: Subject: Two Italian men talking <poss. off. to Italians>
Originally from:anthony.calderone@xilinx.com (Anthony Calderone)
A bus stops and two obviously Italian men get on. They seat themselves,
and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them
ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized
when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first.
Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses,
they come together again. I pee twice. Then I come once more." "You
foul-mouthed wop swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this
country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, cool
down lady," said the man. "I was only tellin' my friend here how to
spell Mississippi."
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 02:13:42 -0700
From: Jack Kolb <KOLB@UCLA.EDU>
Subject: procrastinators creed
From: jokemaster@genie.geis.com
This I dedicate to myself. I've been meaning to send this out... but just
didn't get around to it.
PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED
Author unknown
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been
done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the
amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new
technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of
the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to
change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step,
and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater
the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be
done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is
wait/stall/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow what I can forget about
forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles
(the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 06:06:05 -0500
From: James Renken <renk0006@GOLD.TC.UMN.EDU>
Subject: Chinese Cooking <gross>
A word about exotic far eastern dishes:
The Chinese sometimes wok their dogs.
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 07:39:45 EST
From: JOHN STONE <JSTONE@LETTERKENN-EMH2.ARMY.MIL>
Subject: Gullible - this one takes the cake!
Further adventures of the GULLIBLE from MR. NYVEEN
(What can I say? I never met a GUY named Laurie. My apologies.)
--------------------------------------------------------
From: SL Nyveen <lawrence@msm.com>
Subject: Gullible - this one takes the cake!
If you didn't notice, I kinda doctored up an article in #31 to include the
old practical joke: "Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary? It's
true, go look it up."
I had higher hopes for our readers, but three of them have written in to
tell me 1) my dictionary's out of date; 2) it's in mine, so this is a joke,
right?, and 3) see the letter below (to be fair, the writer's in Belgium,
so is probably not a native English speaker).
>To: "editor@netsurf.com" <editor@netsurf.com>
>Subject: Gullible
>Date: Tue, 03 Oct 95 21:33:25 --0100
>From: name changed to protect the g-u-l-l-i-b-l-e
>
>Dear Editor,
>
>You or one of yours wrote in your info on Internet Relay Chat:
>
>"This is your basic reference source for everything you want to know about
>Internet Relay Chat (IRC). It's not flashy, but neither is a dictionary, and
>both provide comprehensive reliable information (except that "gullible"
>isn't in any dictionary; it's true - look it up)"
>
>And so I did, in Random House Webster's Dicitionary.
>
>gul-li-ble (gul'uh buhl) adj.
> 1. easily deceived or cheated; naive;
> credulous.Sometimes, <gul'la-ble.>
> [1815-25; GULL <2 + -IBLE]
> Derived words
> --gul li-bil'i-ty, n.
> --gul'li-bly, adv.
>
>You can also find it in. e.g. Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
>
>Suggestion: a bit more caution? ;-)))
>
>Kind regards.
------------------------------------
Laurie Nyveen lawrence@msm.com
___________________________________________________________________
Editor, Netsurfer Digest - http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/index.html
DNRC Minister of Adding "ue" to Words That End in "log"
"All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys."
- Grandma Woody (Northern Exposure)
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 07:46:15 EDT
From: Allan McKellar <allan_mckellar@UK.IBM.COM>
Subject: Twists of fate (from The Independent (UK
Subject: Twists of fate (from The Independent (UK
Gerard Hommel was a French mountaineer. A good one. He had gone up and
down Everest six times before he met his fate.
And it's his death for which we'll remember him best.
He died after falling off a stepladder while changing a kitchen light bulb.
Marta Espina had got through 75 years of blameless life in Buenos Aires,
never putting herself in the way of trouble, when a poodle fell from a
13th floor balcony and landed on her head. When the crowd which gathered
to gawp grew too large, a spectator who stepped into the road to get a
better view was killed by a passing bus.
Lupe Velez was a second-string film star and former wife of Johnny Weissmuller
who went for the glam suicide option. Candles, purple sheets, the lot.
However, the overdose she took disagreed violently with her stomache and
she rushed to the toilet/bathroom to disgorge.
There she tripped, knocked herself out, and was found the next day face-down
in the porcelain bowl
--------------
This theme reminds me of the recent deaths in Egypt(?) where several people
drowned when trying to rescue a chicken from a (deep) well.
One person tried to get the chicken, got info difficulties, another attempted
to assist.. etc. The chicken survived and was eventually brought out unhurt.
Allan________________________allan_mckellar@uk.ibm.com
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 10:05:16 -0400
From: Ken Brousseau Sr. <Kbrousseau@AOL.COM>
Subject: Pigeons
A male and female pigeon made a date to meet on a ledge outside the fiftieth
floor of the Chrystler building. The male was on time, but the female was an
hour late.
"Where were you?" he cried. "I was worried sick!"
"It was such a nice day," she explained, "I decided to walk."
From: Random House Book of Jokes.
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 08:09:00 PDT
From: Narasimhan, Seshadri <NARASIS@MTOMP002.ALLIED.COM>
Subject: The Presidency <off. to Zail Singh, Indians in general>
This is a story related to how the late Prime Minister of India, Mrs. Indira
Gandhi, chose who would run to be President of India.
Mrs. Gandhi was in a quandary. She had to decide who would be the ruling
party nominee for President. So she decided to call the most promising three
candidates.
The first was of a philosophical bent. She raised her first, second and
third fingers of her right hand and asked him, "What does this mean"? He
replied, "This has deep symbolism. You are indicating that there is a
Trinity above all of us. You are integrating the various religions in one
gesture ...". Mrs. Gandhi dismissed him. He thought too much for her
comfort!
The second was religious to a fault. She repeated the gesture and asked him,
"What is the meaning of this"? He replied, after some thought, "You are
blessing the everyone that stands in front of you. You are also indicating
that ...". She dismissed him too. Another thinker, when all she wanted was a
'rubber stamp'!
The third was her loyal and faithful party member, Giani Zail Singh. (The
word Giani means 'Knowledgeable One') She repeated the gesture and asked
him, "What do you think this means"? He instantly replied, "Wednesday"! She
was astounded! "How so?", she asked. Zail Singh raised his index finger,
"Monday", raised his second finger, "Tuesday" ...
Giani Zail Singh became the next President.
heh, heh, heh
1) The 'election' of the President in India is indirect, requiring all of
the directly and indirectly 'elected' representatives of all states and the
Centre to vote for the nominees. Typically, the party that rules in a
majority in the most states decides who should be nominated, there is some
nominal opposition candidate selected, and the majority candidate wins.
2) The Presidency is a mainly ceremonious Head Of State designation (similar
to the Queen of England). The real power lies in the Prime Minister's hands.
3) Later on, when Zail Singh was the president before the fall of Rajiv
Gandhi's government, he showed, quite clearly, that he was a thinker of no
mean ability. He raised Constitutional questions regarding ultimate
constitutional power that have still not been answered!
4) Giani Zail Singh was a Sikh. In India, traditionally, jokes have been
cracked about all regional groups, but the Sikhs are picked above all. They
take most of these jokes sportingly because of their basic good nature and
great sense of humour.
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 09:11:02 -0700
From: Henry Cate <cate3@NETCOM.COM>
Subject: Life 9.B
Date: 1 Feb 93 17:00:34 PST (Monday)
-----------------------------
From: ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink)
Reporter: "What do you think of the campaign in Detroit to stamp out the
Beatles?"
Paul McCartney: "We've got a campaign of our own to stamp out Detroit."
------------------------------------------------------------
From Victor Schwartz' mailing list:
(Gleaned from the Letters column in the November issue of Consumer Reports:)
The September report on flashlights reminds me of a statement made by the late
aeronautical engineer Walt Mooney:
"A flashlight is basically a tin can for transporting dead batteries."
-----------------------------
Q: What does DNA stand for?
A: National Association of Dyslexia
------------------------------------------------------------
The following is stuff Leif Bennett collected in the mid 80s
I've followed you, talked to your neighbors, tapped your phone, and even shot
at you to see how you would react. From my observations I have come to one
irrefutable conclusion: You are Paranoid.
----------
From: Kurt Piersol
At one point, the Illustrious Feghoot was called in to help a struggling
humanoid race on Phi-Omega 9. Their problem was desperate indeed. You see,
virtually all of the land mass of the planet was composed of a series of very
high mesas and plateaus. The rain, rather than falling on the top of the
plateaus, would be expended on the sides. This made farming virtually
impossible, so the hapless humanoids were trapped in the stone age, neither
able to farm effectively nor develop the technology to irrigate the high
mesas.
Of course, the poor aliens called upon Ferdinand Feghoot, the illustrious time
traveler and philanthropist, to aid them.
Upon arriving, Feghoot looked over the situation and immediately hit upon a
solution. He instructed the aliens to dig a trench up the side of the closest
platuea, and sent off to Earth for 90 tons of pickles. Once the aliens had
ceased digging, Feghoot had them lay the pickles side by side, end to end,
along the entire length of the trench. Immediately the water began to flow up
the trench and onto the plateau.
The aliens were astounded. "We knew you were a brilliant man, but this is
beyond our wildest dreams. We do not understand, though, why the water flows
uphill simply because of the presence of pickled cucumbers. What makes this
amazing thing occur?"
Feghoot, with a condescending but genial air, replied, "Simple, my boy. We've
known it on Earth for centuries. Indeed, every school child knows that 'Dill
Waters run Steep'"
--
Henry Cate III <cate3@netcom.com>
To learn how to get a MS Windows 3.1 Application with
15,000 jokes from the Life Humor collection, send E-Mail
to life@netcom.com with "Info" in the Subject.
Or check out http://www.offshore.com.ai/lifehumor
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 12:22:26 EDT
From: MR LYLE J KINNAMAN <FVKM43A@PRODIGY.COM>
Subject: Scared <off. to Episcopalians>
Three religious leaders were flying to a meeting when something went
wrong with the controls of their plane. It dove towards the ground,
pulled up at the very last moment, went into a tailspin, did a whole
series of barrel-rolls and several outside loops. After one heart-
stopping maneuver after another, the pilot was finally able to regain
control and land the plane. The religious leaders emerged from the
plane visibly shaken by their ordeal. However, the first one off the
plane was a Catholic Priest and he insisted his religious faith kept
him free from any concern whatsoever. The second man was of the
Islamic faith and claimed to be supremely confident Allah would keep
him safe from any possible harm. The third man emerged, was much more
honest in his appraisal of his experience and said, "I am of the
Ecopalian faith. I used to be an Episcopalian but that last loop-the-
loop really scared me!" Lyle's Joke Boutique.
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 14:06:47 EDT
From: R. W-L <Ralph_Welsch-Lehmann@NOTES.PW.COM>
Subject: Re: OJ Joke
Did you hear what Nicole's job in Heaven is? PEZ dispenser. :-)
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 12:57:49 -0500
From: Lee Vermont <lvermont@UWIMONA.EDU.JM>
Subject: oral sex <Adult themes>
Got this joke from my friend Raymond at school
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man is on a date with a young woman and they go parking.
After some heavy petting the young man asks the young woman for oral
sex. "No", says the young woman, "you won't respect me." So the
young man is content to wait.
After they had been dating a few months, the young man again asks the
young woman for oral sex. Again she replies, "No, you won't respect me."
Eventually the two get married and the husband asks his bride
"Honey, please, we're married now. You know I love you and respect
you. Can we please have oral sex?". "No", she says "I just know
that if I do that you won't respect me." So the man waits.
and waits...
and waits....
After 20 years of marriage the man says, "Honey, we've been together
20 wonderful years now. We've raised three beautiful kids. You
KNOW that I love you and respect you completely. How about oral sex,
just once???? Please??????" and the wife finally gives in to her
husband's wish and peforms oral sex on him. After she is done they
are lying in bed relaxing and the telephone rings. The husband turns
to his wife and says, "Answer that you cocksucker."
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 11:46:00 EDT
From: Lynn, Jon <lynnj@DASW.COM>
Subject: 30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator <not off.>
Requested by popular demand:
From: DKelley@sjf-dhub.sjf.novell.com
30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Tell the other passenger about the time the elevator got stuck
when you were on it and it took 4 hrs to get you out.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"
5. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
8. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
coming!"
9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and
ask them to call you Admiral.
10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay
open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink"
at the bottom.
11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
12. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh,
not now, gurgle and cough....motion sickness!"
13. Meow occasionally.
14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
15. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
16. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
18. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
19. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
20. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
21. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
22. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"
23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
24. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
25. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space."
27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
28. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
body."
29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
--
Jokes from the JON
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 19:55:08 -0400
From: Robert Thomas <RCOMIC@AOL.COM>
Subject: Sex <sexual content>
For men, sex is like banking. First you make a deposit, then you make a
withdrawl, then you lose interest.
I'm never bothered by sexual thoughts. I kind of enjoy them.
It doesn't make sense. The headline read "Impotence on the Rise!"
There's still a lot of sex and free love going on today, it's just that a
different group is doing it.
The sexual revolution is over, and I never got to fire a shot.
------------------------------
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Date: Fri, 6 Oct 1995 11:28:49 0900
From: maurizio morabito <b0017@NIBH.GO.JP>
Subject: Real News???
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/
> Electronic Telegraph Friday 6 October 1995 Home News
>
> [Home News]
>
> Bored students discover a floor in chemistry lectures
>
> By Roger Highfield, Science Editor
>
> SCIENTISTS have found evidence of something that students have known for
> generations: chemistry lectures can be boring.
>
> The proof comes in an article in yesterday's issue of Chemistry in Britain, a
> journal published by the Royal Society of Chemistry.
>
> The article highlights the growing dismay at attempts to lay down guidelines
> for doctoral students to attend lectures given by invited speakers, according
> to the editor, Richard Stevenson.
>
> After introducing a guest speaker into a research seminar of PhD students, the
> anonymous author - a university chemistry lecturer - studied the way the
> distance from the students' heads to the floor declined with time using a
> quantity he dubbed the "head to floor distance reduction", HTFDR.
>
> For a group of 50 students "heads begin to droop after just five minutes and
> consistent HTFDR is observed for the duration of the lecture," the article
> says. He and his colleagues observe two HTFDR mechanisms: the "back slider",
> when the bottom moves forward so the head can slide down the chair back, and
> the "heads down" or "bingo" mechanism, when the head is rested on the desk in
> front.
>
> The article notes that the front row tends to remain alert. "These students had
> no one to hide behind." After 50 minutes, the students have an average distance
> from head to floor of 121 cm, compared with 135 cm at the beginning.
>
> Average head height returns to normal just before the end of a lecture, usually
> when the speaker says: "You can see from this, my final slide. . ."
>
>
[...] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Reply to Electronic Telegraph - et@telegraph.co.uk
>
> Electronic Telegraph is a Registered Service Mark of The Telegraph plc
--
Maurizio Morabito |"I for one could offer a lot of thoughts on any
maurizio@nibh.go.jp| subject,but in many cases they would be based on
| speculation at best, or misinformation at worst"
Tsukuba, Japan | D.P.Chassin
WWW = ftp://ripsport.aist.go.jp/pub/outgoing/maurizio/maurizio.html
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 20:53:19 MDT
From: Andrew Wigg <KU09@UTEP.BITNET>
Subject: Politically-correct Little Red Riding Hood <source unknown>
Politically-Correct Little Red Riding Hood
------------------------------------------
There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived
on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that
would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to
study them.
Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred
to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she
would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not
in fact exist.
Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional
households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.
One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown
fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house.
"But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who
have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between
various people in the woods?"
Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had called the union
boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.
"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?"
Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible for womyn
to oppress each other, since all womyn were equally oppressed until all
womyn were free.
"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket,
since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"
And Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her brother was attending
a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't stereotypical
womyn's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of
community.
"But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's sick and
hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"
But Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't
actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although
that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what
some people called "health".
Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of
delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.
Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous
place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational fear based on
cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the
natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural
predators were in fact intolerable competitors.
Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but
Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized
peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be accepted as valid
lifestyle role models.
On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood passed a woodchopper,
and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers.
She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her
what was in her basket.
Red Riding Hood's teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers,
but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and
chose to dialogue with the Wolf.
She replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a
gesture of solidarity."
The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to
walk through these woods alone."
Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the
extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an
outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an
alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I
would prefer to be on my way."
Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her
Grandmother's house.
But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish
adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker
route to Grandma's house.
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action
affirmative of his nature as a predator.
Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put
on Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited
developments.
Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said,
"Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in
your role of wise and nurturing matriarch."
The Wolf said softly "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."
Red Riding Hood said, "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
"You forget that I am optically challenged."
"And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have."
"Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I
didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."
"And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"
The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a
reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed,
grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide that she could
see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood bravely shouted.
"You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of
intimacy!"
The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp
on her.
At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing
an ax.
"Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.
"And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding Hood.
"If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in
my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower
achievement scores on college entrance exams."
"Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species!
This is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding
Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.
"Thank goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The brat and
her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."
"No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper. "I've
been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected
flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do you have any
aspirin?"
"Sure," said the Wolf.
"Thanks."
"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on
his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any
Maalox?"
------------------------------
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 22:16:48 -0500
From: Ian Chai <chai@UIUC.EDU>
Subject: A Day in The Life Of A UIUC Math Professor
A good friend told me it's been hard to get advice from his professor
lately:
Also, I haven't seen much of him lately. He's in the final (as in
last-couple-of-days) stages of writing a book. So his schedule
typically looks like
midnight-1:00 p.m. write book
1:00-1:01 p.m. stumble over to class
1:01-1:55 p.m. teach class
1:55-1:56 p.m. stumble back to office
1:56 p.m.-midnight write book
A student asked him when he sleeps, and he answered (I'm NOT making
this up) "I sleep on weekends."
........................................................................
Ian Chai <chai@uiuc.edu> http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/chai
------------------------------
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