Digest for Thursday, June 04, 1998
There are 18 messages totalling 765 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
- Time to Diet ?
- A flame analysis
- Is it "Work or Play" on Sundays??!! (adult)
- Dog Riddle
- some sexual innuendo
- Horny Toad. Suggestive.
- AMISH SPRING BREAK ACTIVITIES(mild language warning)
- HUMOR: Densa Test, clean
- Anticipation
- Safe Boating Week
- Meeting her parents
- Play on Words Part 2
- Tape Worm
- Offensive to MicroSoft Fans
- Prison vs Work
- In a London Classroom
- Baking Cookies
- AIDS< offensive to Indian politicians and AIDS patients>
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 03:52:11 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr <jimjr@QIS.NET>
Subject: Time to Diet ?
I heard on the news this week that one-third of all Americans
should go on a diet at once, & that over half of US citizens
are overweight. I thought maybe some diet advice would help.
First, how do you know if you need to diet. Well, if it takes
you three trips to go thru a turnstile -- maybe ya oughta diet.
Remember... your bath tub is not supposed to be form fitting.
I knew it was time for a diet myself when I started putting
mayonnaise on my aspirins.
* Unfortunately, the first thing that most people lose on any
diet is their patience.
- - - - -
* Just think though, if half of the population goes on a diet,
then America can truly be called a "melting pot".
- - - - -
* The second day of a diet is always a lot easier than the first;
By the second day, most people are off the diet.
- - - - -
* Exercise is important too. With diet & lots of exercise, you'll
soon find those extra pounds from your stomach all behind you.
- - - - -
* Be careful of sugar substitutes. I had a friend who overused
substitute sweeteners. She died of artificial diabetes.
- - - - -
* Also, watch out for that "Drinking Man's Diet". I went on that
for 2 weeks once, and all I lost was 10 days.
- - - - -
* The banana-coconut-wine diet doesn't work too well either. You'll
lose some weight, but ya keep falling out of the trees you climb.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 12:14:09 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@IAFRICA.COM>
Subject: A flame analysis <long, 80 lines & language>
An actual exchange from another list (I changed the names, though).
The flame:
Listen you bitch, you obviously don't have anything better to do
than writing rude e-mails all day. Be glad that I am sending this
to you personally and not the whole list, since I now understand how
it works thanks you your great and wonderful knowledge. You
obviously think that you know everything about mailing lists so why
don't you just start your own one, get off this one and do us all a
favour!
I got your message loud and clear the fucking first time thank you!
The message that you are having a hernia about now was sent the day
before I received your first rude e-mail!
I hope I never have to read your bloody e-mails again!
Get a fucking life!
Signed: "Margaret"
The analysis:
Ok, this is a fine example of how to conduct a good old-fashioned
flaming of someone (I might add, someone who has given you calm advice
and been ignored, then given you not so calm advice and still been
ignored and finally given rude advice and gotten a response at last).
This person had the good-heartedness to send this to me personally and
not to the list (note that this is pointed out in the second line of
the flame - just so that I can know exactly how thankful to be). Well,
now the list has this fine example to wonder and marvel at. I must
admit that I am a tad under-whelmed at the obviousness of the thinly
veiled threat, and can only rate this at a 4 out of 10. An opening
move is such an important thing! You must never throw it away in such
a tedious fashion. Mercifully, the flaming skill improves in buckets.
Far more interesting is the proposition that I have nothing better to
do all day than to write 'rude e-mails', specifically rude e-mails to
this person. Now, that shows a certain creative thought process at
work, that gets a 6 out of 10.
The once-upon-a-time eyecatching opening 'Listen you bitch' is a
classic example of how not to start a flame to a person with a
androgynous first name. Bitch just doesn't have the same effect on a
man... If you must use this tired old horse at the very least scream
it! Don't meakly peck out the word, stamp your fury on it BITCH!!!
This at least shows that you mean it. Sorry Margaret, I have to rate
that cheap and nasty shot at a 1 out of 10.
The central core of a flame needs to show conviction, desire to 'go
the distance'. Margaret, you started weak but boy did you make up for it
in the heart of your flame. Not only do you slap me in the face, in
the very next breath you tell me that your sudden comprehension, your
epiphany, your theophany, almost, is all because of little old me!
This is a great demonstration of a little used skill employed by some
expert flamers, the 'love/hate' mail. Hurt me and then kiss me, thrill
me, kill me... you get the picture. 9 out of 10 for such a forceful
ploy.
Margaret then proceeds to turn the tables yet again! What skill Margaret!
Now I only think that I know what I am doing! Casting doubt in the
mind of your perceived nemesis is a key tactic, 8 out of 10.
Now, we come to the penultimate insult, Margaret speaks for the entire
list! Yes, I would be better off turning my attention on myself and in
desperation begin my very own mailing list. Not only is the writer
bringing their full force to bear, no, that is no longer sufficient!
Margaret now wields the entire list like a scimitar, taking me off at
the knees. 9 out of 10 for such a magnificent approach.
After building us up to the ultimate insult it comes as, well, to be
frank, a disappointment. 'Get a fucking life'. Margaret, what can I say?
Weak, very weak. Especially as a closing gambit. 0 out of 10. Let this
error be a warning to all the fledgling flamers out there, end with
vigour and strength; end on a note of overwhelming power so that your
vanquished foe quivers with fear at the very thought of reading a mail
from your poison pen.
I would like to take this chance to thank Margaret for her highly
entertaining input. This is after all a humour list, and I for one
found her mail uproariously funny.
Signed: "Robert"
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 06:52:27 -0400
From: Terry Galan <galante@MCMAIL.CIS.MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: Is it "Work or Play" on Sundays??!! (adult)
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not
sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this
question. The priest says after consulting the Bible," My son, after an
exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on
Sundays." The man thinks: " What does a priest know of sex?" He goes to
Minister, a married man, experienced, for the answer. He queries the
minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the
Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority:
a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge, A Rabbi. The Rabbi
ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play."
The man replies," Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell
me sex is work?" The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife
would have the maid do it."
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 12:07:05 +0100
From: Nik Makepeace <psuol@CSV.WARWICK.AC.UK>
Subject: Dog Riddle
On Mon, 25 May 1998, SteveYoth wrote:
> Q: How do you make a cat say "WOOF"?
>
> A: Douse it with gas and light a match!
Yes, but how do you make a dog go, "Meeeeeooooowwww!"
Strap it to the table and get handy with your buzzsaw!
Nik
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 07:42:14 -0400
From: Grady Lacy <glacy@VALDOSTA.EDU>
Subject: some sexual innuendo
Once upon a time, in the Deep South, a minister was siezed by a
terrible suspicion during the singing of a hymn in one of his
services, and just HAD to know if there was any truth to his doubts;
he signalled the choirmaster to silence the choir and organ, and sure
enough most of the congregation was merely mumming the hymn, moving
their moouths without producing any sound.
Appalled, he laid into them with a blistering extemporaneous sermon,
explaining the importance of the hymns as a part of the liturgy,
recounting the history of the use of hymns and music as an integral part
of worship, and informing them of their duty to participate in common
prayer
and song. He warmed to the theme, telling them in no uncertain
terms that they'd be sure to be damned for all eternity for having only
pretended to sing along, and didn't spare his descriptions of the firey
fate surely awaiting fakers. As an exercise, he told them that he wanted
them to FEEL the spiritual message of the musical worship, and
that he wanted them to all come dressed up as their favorite hymn the
following Sunday, and that any parishoner not so costumed could expect
to be denied entrance to the church. The meeting ended on this
disquieting note, the flock wanndering off lost in serious contemplation
and
introspection.
Well, the next Sunday he was up at the church door bright and early,
to make sure that his orders were obeyed and that his interdiction was
enforced. No sir, he wasn't about to allow admission to any disobedient
slackers!
The first of the churchgoers showed up with a largish boulder chaned to
his ankle, almost loike the ball-and-chain drawn on prisoners by most
unoriginal cartoonists. The minister asked what that was for, and the
memeber excplained that it was supposed to represent the 'ROCK OF AGES'.
Nodding, the minister ushered him in, asking only that he shove the rock
under his pew in order that nobody trip over it.
Next to show up at the door was a fellow on stilts, claiming that he
was 'NEARER MY GOD TO THEE'. With a warning to duck his head, the
preacher
let him in, too. He was glad to see that his flock had taken him
seriously,
even though he had hoped for more interesting costumes.
His attention was diverted from these thoughts by the arrival of a young
lady, in her early twenties, totally naked. "What do you think you're
doing, child?" he asked, whipping off his jacket to try to cover her.
"Why Reverend," she replied, "You told us to come as our favorite hymn,
didn't you? Well, I'm 'JUST AS I AM'."
Before the Rev could collect his wits enough to respond with just what
he thought of this, a young man of about the same age walked up, almost
as naked as 'JUST AS I AM'. All that he wore was a string around his
waist,
from which dangles bits of vegetation: wheat, barkey, oats,
rapeseed, rye, canola, rice, amaranth, triticale, etc. "And just what
the
Hell hymn are you supposed to be?" demanded the pastor, not at all
liking the tendancy towards nudity that he was noticing, so upset that
he forgot to watch his language.
"Well, Reverend," the young mas grinned, eyeing his partially jacket-
covered predecessor, "I thought I was 'BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES', but if
you
don't get 'JUST AS I AM' covered up, I'll going to be 'COMING THROUGH THE
RYE!!!'"
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 13:56:31 +0100
From: Joe Clark <smooth@BIOCH.OX.AC.UK>
Subject: Horny Toad. Suggestive.
Variants of this have been told, but here goes.
What did the horny toad say to his wife?
NeeditNeeditNeedit.
What did his wife say in return?
RubitRubitRubitRubit.
So he went to the Adult Book store and asked the sales clerk to show him
some Adult books. The clerk did, and the horny toad kept saying...
ReaditReaditReaditReadit.
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 09:13:18 -0500
From: RAINYBOW <wett@COMMUNIQUE.NET>
Subject: AMISH SPRING BREAK ACTIVITIES(mild language warning)
Top Ten Amish Spring Break Activities
10. Drink molasses 'til you heave.
9. Wet bonnet contest.
8. Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy.
7. Buttermilk kegger.
6. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really bitchin' Clydesdale.
5. Get a tattoo: "Born to raise barns."
4. Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with
zippers.
3. Sleep 'til 6 a.m.
2. Drive over to Allensville and kick some Mennonite butt.
1. Churn butter neeked.
Just enjoy the Rainbow~
RAINY
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 11:18:34 EST
From: JD STONE <jstone@EMH1.LEAD.ARMY.MIL>
Subject: HUMOR: Densa Test, clean
You've heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ's of 140
and above? Well this test is similar, it's from DENSA. It's a lot
more fun. Give it a try:
Write down or remember your answers and DON'T CHEAT!!!!!
1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? Yes/No
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
Yes/No
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do
you have?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one
every half an hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are
left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he
weigh?
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which
country you bury the survivors?
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55
cents if one of the coins is a quarter?
DON'T READ ANY FURTHER UNTIL YOU'VE ANSWERED ALL THE ABOVE
QUESTIONS!
The Densa Test, Your Evaluation
Give yourself one point for each correct answer..... Good luck!
1. Is there a fourth of July in England?
Yes, it comes after the third of July!
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
Just one!
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
12, all of them!
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
6, three per side!
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's
sister? No - because he is dead!
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70, (30 divided by 1/2 equals 60!)
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you
have? 2, you took them, remember?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every
half hour.How many minutes would the pills last?
60, Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd,
then 30 minutes for the 3rd.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
9 (If 8 out of 17 die, all but 9 die, eh?)
10.How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
Zero...it wasn't Moses..it was Noah
11.A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he
weigh? Meat, a butcher weighs meat!
12.How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
12 There are 12 -2cent stamps in a dozen!
13.A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country
you bury the survivors? The survivors would probably rather
wait until they die to be buried!
14.What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if
one of the coins is a quarter? Three coins. One is a quarter,
the other is a quarter and also a nickel.
_____________________________________________________________
Add Your Score... How did you do?
Correct Answers Rating
13-14 Genius
10-12 Above Normal
7-9 Normal
4-6 Slow
1-3 Idiot
0 Brain dead
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 11:47:43 -0400
From: Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Anticipation
Anticipation is everything
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty
girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress.
How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,
the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then
held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man
standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16
http://members.xoom.com/bs16/
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 13:13:30 -0500
From: Joe Hickman <comedy@FLASH.NET>
Subject: Safe Boating Week <just plain dumb>
----------------------------
This is Safe Boating Week, so remember:
When launching a boat, always back the boat into the water. Pulling the
boat into the water can really mess up your carburetor.
When waterskiing, never allow a feisty duck to hitch a ride on your
skis.
Always stay at least five boat-lengths behind the whale in front of you.
While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean, screaming does not help.
When boating, always wear a swimsuit with suspenders. This makes it
easier on the guys with the grapling hook when they're trying to
retrieve your body.
Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath. And you don't even want
to think about what it does to your complexion.
Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard. Also, it's a good
idea to take along something to read, in case you're swallowed by a
whale. Most whales seem to enjoy Moby Dick.
Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some states, but it's stupid
in all of them.
----------------------------
>From Ha! at http://www.flash.net/~comedy
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 11:46:27 -0700
From: Jack Falk <jackfalk@EARTHLINK.NET>
Subject: Meeting her parents
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl
announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to
go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is
ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to
the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy
for about 30 minutes, explaining the different product types,
lubricated versus non, large versus extra large (this is just a
marketing gimmick...isn't it, any ways back to the story). He
tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the check out, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he
would like to purchase, a 3-pack or 12-pack. The boy insists on
the 12 pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being
his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets
his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my
parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the
boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes
pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no
idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"
Jack Falk jackfalk@earthlink.net
http://home.earthlink.net/~advantagegrp
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 18:06:06 EDT
From: Sue Sevin <SueS7@AOL.COM>
Subject: Play on Words Part 2
Sent to me from Robert_R._Marquardt@oxy.com:
Real estate developers could be distracted, software writers
deprogrammed, movers demobilized, mink ranchers deferred, fishermen
debated, bookkeepers discounted, broadcasters demodulated,
grammarians denounced, social activists deactivated, pilots dealated
(y'all have to run to the dictionary for at least one..), sailors
debarked, arborists debarked, dogs debarked (it's suddenly quieter),
database operators debased, hair stylists distressed, moralists
debauched, McDonald's disenfranchised, Lawyers could also be
debriefed, dermatologists debrided, collection agencies debilitated,
but it is unlikely that an accountant attacked by a dog could be
debit. An agoraphobic might be debouched, an entomologist debugged, a
cow decaffeinated, and a drill sergeant could fall into decadence.
The guy who puts the lines on athletic fields could be decalcified,
and boy and girl scouts might be decamped. A wine steward could be
decanted and a tribal headman or a headwaiter could be decapitated. A
coal merchant could be decarbonized, and a dentist could just decay.
Disk jockeys could be derecorded, Cain's brother could be disabled,
liars should be disabused, and those guys who collect duty at the
border might be disaccustomed. As an American Airlines frequent
flier, I live in fear of being disadvantaged, and when I left the Air
Force, I was quickly deblued. Brothers might be disaffiliated, and
IRS agents disallowed, and one can foresee the possibility of
mediators being disagreeable. Many public officials could (and
should,) be disappointed, but could the fair-haired boys be
disannointed? The Beatles have already disbanded, and junior
attorneys could be disassociated.
Sent to me from Bill Stebbins:
Maybe the old folks can be degenerated, ugly people defaced, earthquake
scientists defaulted, terrorists defused! And then Swineherds will be
disgruntled, Farmers will be distracted, Scarecrows will be distraught
(de-strawed), and I guess sex workers will be laid off.
And another of my own: Guitar players could be unstrung, denoted, and
disconcerted.
===================================
"I plan to live forever
or die trying."
Spider Robinson
===================================
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 19:22:03 EDT
From: Elizabeth Davis <NoDbtGrr1@AOL.COM>
Subject: Tape Worm <couple of words>
A guy goes to the doctor because he has a tape worm... The doctor says that
the only way to cure it is to bring him an apple and a sugar cookie...
He does this, and the doctor shoves both of them up the patient's ass....
The doctor tells him to do this twice a day for two days...Two days later the
man comes back and says, "well, I did what you told me,but I still have the
damn tapeworm"..The doctor says, "now go get me an apple and a hammer."The man
gets what the doctor requests and brings the things back....The doctor takes
the apple and shoves it up the man's ass.... Two minutes later, the tapeworm
sticks it's head out of the man's ass and says,
"Hey! Where's the damn sugar cookie?"
BAM!!!
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 20:47:23 -0400
From: Jay Harman <jharman@IX.NETCOM.COM>
Subject: Offensive to MicroSoft Fans
>From Office Systems 98....
Back in March, Bill Gates of Microsoft, testified before a congressional
committee that if automobiles had enjoyed the same gains in productivity
that computers have achieved int he last 10 years, then we'd all be
driving $25 cars that get 1,000 miles to the gallon. True, perhaps,
but as our resident fax guru Pete Davidson in his FaxWire newsletter
noted, Gates left out a few crucial points in the analogy. If, in fact,
cars were PCs:
- Your car would crash two or three times a day, sometimes just
sitting in park
- Apple would make a solar-powered, highly reliable car that would be
twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on 10% of the roads.
- Every time the transportation department built a new road, we'd have
to buy a new car to travel on it.
- Then, if we bought a new car, the brake, accelerator, and steering
wheel would all be in different places.
- Every time you put your foot on the brake, a message window would
pop up on the dashboard and say: Are your sure? Yes/No.
- Once or twice a week your car would stall in the middle of the
freeway. Then you would have to call a mechanic in another city who
would tell you over the phone how to remove and reinstall the engine.
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 19:17:44 -0700
From: Dr. L. A. Wilson <Allen_Wilson@BC.SYMPATICO.CA>
Subject: Prison vs Work
"Prison vs Work"
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
IN PRISON...you get time off for good behaviour.
AT WORK...you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all
the doors yourself.
IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON...you spend most of your time looking through bars from the
inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside
bars.
IN PRISON...there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK...they are called managers.
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Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 09:55:14 -0400
From: Chalapathi Rao Poduri <chaps@TC4HQ.CMC.STPH.NET>
Subject: In a London Classroom <adult,off. to Pakis.>
And could be offensive to a guy named jeetay(R.S.) too....
In a London Classroom
Teacher: Children! We are having surprise history test.
Who said "I came, I saw, I conquered?"
Class: mutter... grumble... [nobody knows except...]
Mohammed: Miss! It was Julius Caesar in 320 BC!
[Dates don't have to be accurate ..... ]
Teacher: Ah! A new face. What is your name?
Mohammed: Mohammed, Miss.
Teacher: Well thank you Mohammed. Now who said "We shall
fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them in there air,
we shall never surrender"?
Class: mumble... mutter... [again nobody knows except Mohammed]
Mohammed: Miss! Winston Churchill in 1939!
Teacher: Well done Mohammed. And I hope that the rest of
the class is suitably embarrassed. This little boy from another land
knows more about this country's history than all of you put together!
Voice from the back: FUCK the Pakis!
Teacher: Who said that?
Voice: Mike Gatting, Miss! In 1987!
Chalapathi
And His
Four-Line
Signature! :-)
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 22:08:45 -0700
From: Keith E. Sullivan <KSullivan@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject: Baking Cookies
BAKING COOKIES
Not realizing our mother had left some leftover turkey in our oven's
broiler, my sister, 19, turned the oven on to bake cookies. Once the
oven was hot, she put in the cookies and came back to check on them ten
minutes later. When she pulled open the oven door, flames shot out, and
my sister shouted, "Mom! Fire!" as she closed the door. Immediately
our mother called the fire department and rushed all of us out of the
house.
The firefighters were over in a flash, and they quickly hosed the oven
down with some foam, then helped us clear the house of smoke. As one of
the young firemen was leaving, he turned to my mother and said, "Your
daughter is cute. I would ask her out, but I only date women who can
cook.
Donald Kamadulski
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 1998 22:31:08 PDT
From: r s <jeetay@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: AIDS< offensive to Indian politicians and AIDS patients>
An Indian Minister hangs himself when he realises that the black money
he has been hiding and the kickbacks he has been getting are on the
verge of being revealed by a newspaper that doesn't accept bribes.
His death certificate has the following as the cause of death : AIDS
His enraged relatives rush down to the mortuary to clarify that he had
been hale and healthy before his death.
" I know," said the coroner, " but this AIDS means Accumulation of
Income Derived Secretly".
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