Digest for Saturday, June 05, 1999

Topics of the day:

1. Gone To The Dogs
2. More PUNY Riddles

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Date:    Sat, 5 Jun 1999 07:32:19 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Gone To The Dogs

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a
blank form and wrote, "Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..
woof..woof...woof."

The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are only
nine words here.  You could send another 'woof' for the same
price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would be silly."

                 <><><><><><><><><><><>

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul
was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The
salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination
could be playing tricks on him.

The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just
part of my job."

"Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does
your boss know what a prize he has in you?  An animal that
can talk!"

"No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't!  If that man finds
out I can talk, he make me answer the phone as well!"
(Thanks to Irismist)


http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16
http://members.xoom.com/bs16/

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Date:    Sat, 5 Jun 1999 18:50:17 -0700
From:    Stan Kegel <kegel@FEA.NET>
Subject: More PUNY Riddles

191. If Ireland would sink, what would float?

192. What romance book chronicles the love between an Iowa farm wife
and an appliance repairman?

193. What's the fish's favorite love serenade?

194. Where does NASA report a missing satellite?

195. Animal crackers are usually made in the shapes of wild animals.
Why is it best to feed teething babies crackers in the shapes of dogs,
cats, horses etc?

196. If you tried to buy something online from another country, and
they simply took your money, how would you feel?

197. One of the reporters on the long running CBS news show 60 Minutes
is in the habit of buying "business lunches" for his friends and
associates. Of course this all goes on an expense account paid for by
the network but because he does it so often he is forced to keep a
detailed record of each time he picks up such a tab. The title written
on the cover of his record book is strikingly similar to the name of a
well known newspaper. What is it?

198. What might you call a writing instrument that is out of vogue?

199. A family of novel American cottontails, very successful in
raising legumes around their home, form a company to process and
distribute their vegetables.   What is the appropriate name for their product?

200. A very depressed young fellow returned home to Hawaii hoping to
be cheered up by a visit with his father. As it happens his father too
was quite depressed and was in fact about to commit suicide. The two
talked all afternoon about the bleakness of their own respective
lives. By evening the father was not only still resolved to end his
own life but was pretty sure that his gloomy child would also be
better off dead. For supper he had already prepared his own meal with
a dose of strychnine to do the deed. Now, certain that the morose
young man would also want to "end it all," the father offered his kid
a taste of this deadly dish followed by what three-word question?

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191.  The County of Cork (By Stan Kegel)

192. The Friges of Madison County (By Tiff Wimberly)

193.  O Sole Mio (By Cynthia MacGregor)

194.  In the Orbituary Column (By Stan Kegel)

195.  They are easily dough-masticated (By Gary Hallock)

196.  Egypt (He gypped) (By SRpunster)

197.  The Wallace Treat Journal (By Gary Hallock)

198. Stylus (style-less) (By Lars Hanson)

199. Warren Peas (By Stan Kegel

200. Poison Poi, Son? (By Gary Hallock)

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