Digest for Saturday, July 03, 1999
There are 5 messages totalling 166 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
- PUNY Riddles
- IRISH CREATION (aDULLt)
- Chaos
- Humor - Weird Business News #16 (2nd of 3)
- The Wheelbarrow Method (mature)
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Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 00:00:05 -0700
From: Stan Kegel <kegel@FEA.NET>
Subject: PUNY Riddles
216. What historic Egyptian beauty invented spike shoes for sporting events?
217. How was the Mississippi riverboat gambler able to fill out his royal
flush?
218. What cream-colored potage did the Muslim cleric have?
219. What is the name given to the new women's fashion in gowns that
is a combination of styles from the sub-continent and Indonesia?
220. Saddam (who's in-sane) continues to try to take over neighboring
countries. Which attempt will be successful, and which country will it be?
Movie of the Week: 17. What film tells the story of cosmonauts who
fall in love and start a family on board the Russian space station?
Book of the Week: 15. P. Christopher Wren’s chronicle of the
appearances of a superstar on the late night talk show circuit to hype
her new blockbuster new movie “10”:.
T. V. Show of the Week: 3. Greg Mullevey and Dabney Coleman as happy
cardiologists in Norman Lear’s:
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216. Cleat-o-patra (By David Bunch)
217. He was Delta Queen (By Gary Hallock)
218. The Mulligatawany Soup (The mullah got tawny soup.) (By Lars
Hanson)
219. Sari Sarong Number (By Stan Kegel)
220. Coup Eight (Kuwait) (By SRpunster)
Movie of the Week: 17. From Mir to Maternity (By Gary Hallock)
Book of the Week: 15. “Bo Guests” (By Stan Kegel)
T. V. Show of the Week: 3. Merry Heart Man, Merry Heart Man (By Stan
Kegel)
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Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 07:08:23 -0500
From: RANEBOUX <raneboux@BELLSOUTH.NET>
Subject: IRISH CREATION (aDULLt)
Q. According to the Bible, how were the Irish created?
A. Adam looked down at Eve and said, "Oh! Hair!" And
Eve looked down at
Adam and said, "Oh! Tool!"
--
If u cannot find the pot of gold.......
~Just enjoy the Raneboux~
RAINY
happy 4th :-)
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Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 07:43:51 -0500
From: Les Pourciau at UMem <POURCIAU@LATTE.MEMPHIS.EDU>
Subject: Chaos
Chaos will always overcome Order because it has
a superior organization at the grassroots level.
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Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 08:50:29 -0500
From: Ken Brousseau Sr. <kenbruso@IO.COM>
Subject: Humor - Weird Business News #16 (2nd of 3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is the coast clear?
The James Bond Award to a Japanese businessman who recently left Houston
to take a new job in his native country. To friends and acquaintances, he
supplied his new direct phone number, but warned, "The phone will only be
activated when the caller says, `You have a paint job' (9 to 5) or `You
have a golf game' (24 hours). I await your call."
The Plain English Award to Faroudja Inc. The Silicon Valley company
announced two new processors in a news release that told us:
"A new YPrPb output allows the DVP3000 and DVP3000U to connect to the
growing number of entry-level HDTV-ready sets in which an RGB output may
not be compatible. New direct access infrared control software optimizes
the models for use in theater or A/V installations employing IR-based
control systems. RS232 serial computer control is also included."
Our Stupid Lawyer Trick Award to the attorneys for the Galleria. In a
letter castigating me for my use of the term "the Galleria area" they
warned they had sued or settled with numerous companies that used the
"Galleria" in their name, adding ominously that many had gone out of
business. In the future, they suggested, that I -- or you -- eschew that
term and instead refer to "the area around the Galleria, the neighborhood
surrounding the Galleria, near the Galleria" or perhaps something like "two
blocks north of the Galleria."
The What About Those Who Dip and Chew Award to SmithKline Beecham Consumer
Healthcare, which announces it is sponsoring the NicoDerm CQ-Nicorette Ford
Reynard race car at the annual Malboro Grand Prix of Miami.
From reader Mary Lamb. How do you know you've joined a cheap HMO? The only
100 percent covered expense is embalming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 11:48:39 -0400
From: Terry Galan <galante@MCMAIL.CIS.MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: The Wheelbarrow Method (mature)
After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what
it used to be, the sex counsellor suggested they vary their position.
"For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her
legs, penetrate and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got
home. "Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First
if it hurts, you'll stop right away and second," she insisted. "You must
promise we won't go past my mother's."
=========================================================================
If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all.
.......Rodney Dangerfield
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