Digest for Thursday, November 04, 1999

There are 4 messages totalling 196 lines in this issue. 




Topics of the day:
  1. Offensive to Texans, Sheep
  2. Qs and As (off. to everyone)
  3. Gay Dancing
  4. Humor - Weird Business News #20 (3rd of 3) 


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Date:    Thu, 4 Nov 1999 05:43:38 EST
From:    Jay Harman <jay_harman@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Offensive to Texans, Sheep

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old indian.  Above the
old indian was a sign that read, "$5.00 - If I can't tell you where you're
from, I'll pay you $50.00!".  The young man watched a cowboy approach the
indian and ask, "Is the sign right?".  The indian says, "yes".  The cowboy
hands him a five and says, "you're on!"  The indian looks the cowboy up and
down, noticing some cow dung on his boots and flatly states, "you're from
Wyoming!".  The cowboy shakes his head and says, "I'll be darned!  You're
right!" and strolls away.

A second cowboy approaches the indian and goes through the same routine.
Handing him the fiver, he stands and watches as the indian looks him up and
down and notices a bit of straw and cow dung on his boots.  The indian says,

"you're from Montana!"  The cowboy, dejected as all get out, walks away.

The young man decides he's going to give the indian a run for the money. He
goes into the mens room, takes his boots off, scrubs them up, dries them
off, puts on a coat of polish and approaches the indian.  He hands the
indian a five dollar bill and says, "do your stuff!"  The indian looks and
looks, up and down, and appears to be befuddled.  The young man is now
thinking he's gone one up on the indian.  The indian says, "You're from
Texas!"  The young man gets really upsent and can't for the life of him
figure out how the indian could know that, so he asks, "How in the world did

you know I'm from Texas?"

The indian replies, "by the wool on your zipper!"

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Thu, 4 Nov 1999 07:39:06 -0500
From:    Terry Galan <galante@MCMAIL.CIS.MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: Q's and A's (off. to everyone)

 How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital?
 He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.

 How can you tell if a girl is a redneck? She can suck a dick and chew
 tobacco at the same time, and know what to spit and what to swallow.

 Why don't Italians have acne?
 It slides off.

 Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby?
 They named him Sum Ting Wong

 What's the best thing about a blowjob?
 10 minutes of peace and quiet.

 Did you hear they came out with a new Selena doll?
 Ken and Barbie needed a maid.

 What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass?
 A Mechanic.

 What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
 other?
 A Speech Impediment.

 Definition of a nice Greek Boy: A Greek boy who takes a girl out twice
 before screwing her brother.

 What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half
 mast? They're hiring.

 What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
 Men miss them all.

 Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
 Because they're not going to work in the future either.

 Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo"

 How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
 NONE- He fell

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Thu, 4 Nov 1999 09:29:46 -0500
From:    Paul Benoit <pbenoit@SPEEDLINETECH.COM>
Subject: Gay Dancing <adult>

Did you hear about the two gay guys that where dancing?
One said to the other, "Why do you always get an erection
when we dance together?"
The other replied, "Because you dance like an asshole!"
    ---------------------------------
A lezzie girl from Khartoum,
Asked a gay boy up to her room.
    They spent half the night,
    In a hell of a fight,
Over who should do what, and to whom.
    ---------------------------------
A gay man went to heaven.  At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was
waiting for him.  After reviewing his records, Saint Peter decided
to let him in.
"Follow me," he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After walking some, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the
ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys.  That was
something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him
and did his thing.  Saint Peter was furious.
"If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell!  Now follow me,
we're almost there."
After some more walking, StPeter dropped his keys again, and
once more, the gay man jumped on him.  Saint Peter was even
more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one
last chance.
Again they walk, and for the third time StPeter drops his keys,
and bends over to pick them up.  The gay guy, having absolutely
no self control, jumps on him.  Saint Peter is now fed up, and
sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine
inspection, but this time something is wrong... it is freezing, no fire,
no lava, and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack
of blankets freezing his ass off.
"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" StPeter asks.
"Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!" the devil replied.
    ---------------------------------
"Oy vey! I've got good news and bad news about our son."
said Mrs. Shapiro to her husband.
"Give me the bad news first!" said Mr. Shapiro.
"Our boy's become a homosexual!"
"Oy! So what's the good news?"
"He's going with a rich doctor!"
    ---------------------------------
Michael Jackson will not comment on what the terms
will be of his divorce settlement with Debbie Rowe.
     He's not interested in material things:
     he finds most everything he wants at eBoy.com
     (c) Jim Rosenberg

************************************
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three
 hundred, sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't
 mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
 more supervision." - Lynne Lavner

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index



Date:    Thu, 4 Nov 1999 16:24:04 -0600
From:    Ken Brousseau Sr. <kenbruso@IO.COM>
Subject: Humor - Weird Business News #20 (3rd of 3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                           Getting to the point

 The Chronicle Copy Editors Take Note Award to Around the Rim, a newsletter
from Wang & Li Resources of Shanghai, China. They grabbed the attention of
their readers about the growth of the Internet in China with the headline,
"Enjoying the Orgasm."

 From Randy Garfield of Walt Disney Attractions comes a suggestion for a
new tourist draw for Las Vegas. Line Hoover Dam with singing dolls and fill
it with tour boats. Call it, It's a Big Dam World After All.

 From that usually unreliable source, the Internet, comes these excepts
from employee evaluations:

 · He's been working too much with glue.

 · When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

 · If two people are talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

 · It's hard to believe that he beat out a million other sperm.

 · A prime candidate for natural deselection.

 · He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

 · He certainly takes a long time to develop his pointless.

 · He has a knack for making strangers immediately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

------------------------------
 Return to Topics
Return to day index
Return to Month Index