The Humor List Postings for April 1996

This is both an index of the text and zip files for the month and a day by day listing of the joke titles. If you are looking for a particular joke, search for the words in its title using the browser find command.

Below is a list of the links for each day. Each link will bring you to the Topics for that day. Each day will also have a link to the .txt, .zip and HTML files for that day

At the end of all the topics is a table of links to all the months for the year of this index.
1st of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File

1. Answering Machine Messages Part 2/7 <some bad language>
2. Certain ethnic joke
3. Breaking News
4. Quotes part 48
5. Adult Humor (offensive to elderly)
6. Airline humor
7. Lovers Lane (shouldnt offend anyone)
8. Dentist Visit
9. Penis for President:<offensive to Iranians>
10. The XOs inspection (some toilette humor)...
11. Cat Bathing as a Martial Art
12. Income Tax Deduction
13. Gobbledygook
14. Oops
15. Simple Caveman needum printer help (G)
16. Dogs from Munich
17. Golf <Possibly offensive to gays, right-wingers>
18. The Three Answers
19. Mans Last Night
20. Hot pants? <off. to matadors>
21. Humor Quality Control
22. Humor Quality Control <some vulgarity>
23. Male Contraceptive
24. The Rules To Bedroom Golf <adult themes>
25. Changed Wording
26. The Rules (May Be Offensive to Women)
27. Easter Jokes <One Makes Fun of the Crucifixion>
28. Meow Mix (Gross)
29. Mad Cow Disease <offensive to Little Caesars employees>

1. Discrimination? <adult themes>

1. Passing the Exam
2. Smiles... (not offensive)
3. Golf joke (may be offensive to gays)
4. An embarrassed State Trooper
5. Windows 95 Notice
6. White vs Balck pigs: Offensive to pigs and cows
7. Reports of Their Split Was Greatly Exaggerated...
8. Birth control pill for men <mild>
9. Dont Be a Sore Loser!
10. Answering Machine Messages Part 3/7 <may be offensive to mormons; some bad language>
11. OJ Observation
12. Sanctuary for mad cows?!
13. Q & A (Adult Humor)
14. Mining accident
15. Court Room testimony (not for the weak of stomach)
16. How to annoy the mentally ill <off.>
17. Things to keep in mind -- inoffensive
18. Poem of the Little old lady in Lavender... (Risque)
19. Lab Rat
20. They cancelled Easter (offensive to Christians)
21. Personal ad <adult themes>
22. Even ketchup can have a double meaning
23. Diarrhea (May be Offensive)
24. 200 bucks <adult theme, nudity>

1. Answering Machine Messages Part 4/7
2. Baseball (off to mlb players)
3. Horoscopes <tactless and generally offensive!>
4. Easter humour
5. Adult Humor (hopefully more cute than offensive)
6. Quotes part 7*7
7. Addicted to Vi
8. Once upon a time...
9. Marital Bliss? (adult themes)
10. Step saver <off. to convicts>
11. Dole <phallic>
12. 9 Types of Boyfriends & Girlfriends
13. Things to keep in mind--inoffensive
14. Training
15. DOS mania

1. More mlb... (off to "them")
2. Answering Machine Messages Part 5/7
3. Extremely blasphemous easter-time humour
4. Easter riddle
5. Adult Humor
6. Word Game Anecdote
7. What I learned in college
8. The Pepper and Salt Association
9. If Jesus Lived Today
10. Government Regulations
11. Raise you $5!
12. Political Humor <may be offensive to political figures>
13. Solve Mad Cow issue and Bosnia <poss off to Bosnia, British>
14. Humor in the News <impotence humor, poss. off. to squeamish>
15. Vending Machine
16. Key To Success
17. Backup Copies
18. Million Man March (Offensive to blacks)

1. Answering Machine Messages Part 6/7
2. Folgers Crystals
3. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
4. Q & A (offensive to Jews, Italians, Poles, Mexicans etc..)
5. Have We Gone Too Far
6. Unabomber Irony
7. Setting Clocks
8. Real programmers <off. programmers?>
9. Reasons I still believe in the Easter Bunny
10. In The News - May be offensive to women, rap singers, Unabomber
11. BettyJos Complaint (adult)
12. Militia Inventions <Offensive to Militias>

1. HUMOR List Traffic Report
2. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
3. Easter <offfensive to some>
4. Answering Machine Messages Part 7/7
5. Graduate Math Rankings Change
6. A diplomat? <off. to some Irishmen>
7. Higher Ed. <not offensive> & The Love Boat <suggestive>
8. Suggestive of bestiality
9. Doctor Doctor!
10. A little Easter humor

1. The bright side of the Mad Cow
2. US legislators
3. Q & A (Risque)
4. Golf
5. March Maddness
6. Making a connection <long, off. to Net weenies>
7. Coke Introduces New 30-Liter Size
8. Golf lessons [risque]
9. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
10. Wash you car? <adult themes>
11. "King of Kings" Cameo by the Duke
12. Offensive to your momma
13. Little Johnnys ASCII Art <graphic nudity>
14. Angry Dog (Adult)
15. Good Friends
16. First Class
17. Answering machine
18. Story

1. Ladle Rat Rottenhut <offensive to lysdexics>
2. Reasons I dont believe in the Easter Bunny
3. Why coffee is better than women <bitter, twisted, sexist>
4. Quote..unknown + Virus Alert
5. Press Release: Gun Lobby Endorses Clinton
6. Q & A (offensive to stock brokers)
7. Thar She Blows!
8. Internet Humor (not offensive)
9. the anit-chain letter
10. Another Answering Machine Message
11. Hypocrites
12. Belgians and Beer
13. A Young Man Named Hall
14. Cinderella <gross/sick>

1. Thoughts For the Day
2. USA: Crazy Laws
3. Ku Klux Kneivel (poss. off. to blacks)
4. Erotic Bloopers {WARNING: STRONG Sexual Content}
5. Chain Letter (offensive to some husbands)
6. Teenage Cyberpunk
7. An Update of A Gilbert and Sullivan Masterpiece
8. A Childs Logic
9. Arms & Diets
10. Open wide? <adult themes>
11. Urinalysis
12. Betting on People <off-color humor>
13. Miscellaneous -- Inoffensive
14. Java
15. The Italian who went to <off. to Italians, suggestive language>
16. Jesus v. Elvis {may be offensive to ultra religious}
17. At the gym
18. A Girl Named ONeill
19. Light bulb
20. Poor Rabbit
21. Tax Quotes

1. new lotion....<some bad words, mildly suggestive>
2. Quote of the day and some extras
3. Riddle [politically absolutely incorrect, off. to wymin]
4. You might be Republican if... (Republican offensive)
5. Bedridden [may be offensive to old "old maids"]
6. Income Tax Song
7. "When In Rome..."
8. Quotes part 50
9. Whos next? <adult themes>
10. The Brady Bunch
11. A Tale of Two Sammuri
12. Law on the March
13. Pillowcase Bandit
14. A guide to PC...
15. Urinalysis
16. Doctor
17. FBI Interview

1. The creation of the vagina
2. A Beating <offensive to some Irish & offensive words>
3. Quotes part 51
4. Q & A (older woman offensive)
5. Language Lesson (poss off to Fr Canadians)
6. How to catch... <poss. slight offensive to women>
7. Hand Gestures <non-offensive>
8. Another elevator joke (suggestive and a bit gross)
9. Out of Sight
10. Something fishy? <off. to Poles>
11. Annual Spring Riddle
12. Slippery stuff
13. Law on the March
14. Top 25 Reasons that Hockey is Better than Sex
15. Feeble joke attempt <offensive to people with a refined sense of humor>
16. High tech redneck <poss. off. to all us comp. geeks>
17. Driving in Italy, Part 1 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
18. Freedom

1. Offensive to Nuns
2. Aadmissions office
3. Language Purity
4. Traveling questions...
5. Language Purity
6. Passover Joke
7. Who me? <off. to Gerd Bonk>
8. Bubbas Revenge
9. Driving in Italy, Part 2 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
10. Shakespeare
11. In The News - May be off. to Montaneons (sp), mad cows, more
12. Just married
13. The Boyfriend

1. Feed em all!
2. In-law humor
3. Feed em all!
4. The Joys of Pregnancy
5. "How many" joke <offensive to law enforcement>
6. Photo
7. Loss of appetite? <some profanity>
8. Driving in Italy, Part 3 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
9. Who will help me?
10. Toasters

1. British Busing
2. Cable TV & women <off. to none>
3. Child abuse vs. spousal abuse
4. Civil War Cuisine <not offensive>
5. Why Fire the Secretary?
6. The Night of Tax Day
7. Sperm -- not really offensive
8. Why the Ethernet Is Like a Penis <adult theames>
9. Jury Duty
10. Quotes - Country & Western Lyrics
11. Rodney Dangerfield .... Part 3
12. How Men Decide What to Wear
13. True Harley riders <not off.>
14. Wife on the Links
15. Patriots Day
16. Top 50 things to say when your roommate is having sex
17. Military Cooperation ?
18. Offensive to the Polish

1. Pink and Purple <dirty>
2. Last thoughts during a final
3. Quotes part 52
4. The Marketing Husband (Sexual inuendo)
5. Genitalia on the Beach <Sexually explicit>
6. Rodney Dangerfield... Part 4 (last)
7. FBI and Pizza <poss. offensive to the insane>
8. s.b.d. [flatulent humour]
9. Family Problems and Victorias Secret (fwd)
10. Overheard in court (some foul language)
11. Law on the March
12. Adam & eave?
13. Top 10 reasons why 7 yr old Jessica Dubroffs plane crashed (off to 7 year old pilots)
14. Growing Old
15. The Governor and the whorehouse (sexually suggestive)
16. What do you think about this?
17. The Perils of Adultery <sexual>
18. The Birth of a Candy Bar <Sexually Suggestive>
19. Experience
20. Tint hair contest(possibly offensive to blonds)
21. Drinking Problem (poss. off. to alcoholics, women, senators)

1. Another name <sexual>
2. How to get through a paper
3. Football
4. Definitions... or something like that! (not offensive)
5. Grandpa & little boy <adult themes>
6. The Drinkers Fault-Finding Guide
7. The Invisible Man Calls
8. Ski Trip
9. Hunting Joke (maybe offensive to Ukranians)
10. <Offensive to Bikers>
11. A Big Mistake
12. No offensive language.
13. Supermodel Wisdom
14. Law on the March
15. Law on the March (Repost)
16. Military Acronyms (May be off. to Military)
17. Showers (part 1 of 2)
18. Girl Scouts <Off. to Girl Scouts, oddly enough>
19. Elephant joke
20. Fog
21. Felix, The Flying Frog
22. A new pithy saying? <kind of gross>
23. Lone Ranger and Tonto [May be offensive to cowboys]
24. Useless humor
25. Unabomber for President!

1. Rodney Dangerfield lines
2. You may be an engineer <off. to engineers ?>
3. Lawyer Humor <offensive to lawyers>
4. Noah and batered women <off to batered women>
5. Quotes part 53
6. May Be Off. To Older Women
7. Final Chain Letter
8. The Hit Man (adult theme)
9. To Catch a Squirrel (suggestive)
10. Clinton Poetry <off. to Democrats and Clinton>
11. New Training <not off., "S" word>
12. New Priest <maybe off. to catholics>
13. Ode to Charlie <suggestive, offensive to colorblind>
14. Ode to Charlie
15. Pain in the glass?
16. More Elephant jokes
17. Getting older, but not wiser.
18. Cops... Show Key/All
19. Worst analogies
20. Law on the March
21. The Bathroom Military (off. to Marines)
22. Another assorted humor
23. Top Ten Geek Pick-Up Lines (Offensive to Geeks and Nerds)
24. Clintons Queen Berets <Off. to gays, Clinton supporters>
25. Tom Swifties, part 1
26. Tenure (offensive to some religious types)
27. Showers (part 2 of 2)

1. Quotes part 54
2. Why Superman (offensive to Kriptonians)
3. Penis and chairs ( rude )
4. Yet more elephant jokes
5. More Elephants....
6. Law on the March
7. Computer mailing lists <not offensive>
8. Addition to Memorandum
9. My melancholy baby
10. Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
11. Limerick <adult theme, language>
12. Tom Swiftie
13. Men and Women (off. language)
14. Tom Swifties
15. Graphic...Tom Swiftie
16. Teed off! <adult themes>
17. Disconcerting Dole (probably offensive to republicans but funny anyway)
18. Oxymorons and Arabic expressions <Off. to Arabs & patriots. Sexual mat.>
19. Safety first <off. to Polish>
20. Spears
21. First grade students <one bad word>
22. Asorted Humor
23. Permission Slip <harmless>
24. Military Retirement (offensive language)

1. Nixon Sighted at Stop n Go

1. (Incredibly Offensive to the Disabled)
2. Short Alien Joke <Offensive to Aliens>
3. Education <may offend someone>
4. What does a nomination paper look like ?
5. Paratrooper Training (Suggestive, may offend some people)
6. Nixon Sighted in Roswell UFO Film
7. Barely Possible (nudity)
8. Circus Dog
9. In The News - may be off. to parent killers, Madonna, IRS
10. Two gays walking down the street <off. to gays>
11. The Big Bing-O
12. Mayors first (rejected) speech draft
13. Tom Swifties, part 2
14. 30 things to do to "get well" (from card)
15. Winston Churchill Wit [Not Offensive]

1. More Military (Offensive to Airforce... Mabey)
2. Mice In Animal Heaven
3. Quotes part 55
4. Law on the March
5. Magnificent Pair (suggestive)
6. Whos got the most guts? (off to militarty other than Navy)
7. Thisll Gill You
8. Tomorrow, 3 sizes, Any one got the time
9. The Plan <The "S" word>
10. A cute little bunny rabbit
11. Tonto and the Lone Ranger, #2
12. A snack? <off. to Christians>
13. Wrong size? <adult themes>
14. Country Style CPR <explicit>

1. Too many soaps
2. Oops! <off to people who call wrong numbers>
3. Two drunken guys
4. A woman falling (offensive to all people with sexual problems)
5. The Lion
6. Political Humor (off. to politicians (??))
7. Law on the March
8. Humorous license plate <not off.>
9. Top 10 technical writing euphamisms for death...
10. The Gonzo List of Tom Swifties, Part I
11. Fiddleing Around
12. Limericks <suggestive, adult themes>
13. Another Swiftie
14. Fishin (adult theme, off. language)
15. Artist, Tasty Towns, satisfied, Surgeon and teeth
16. The Buzzphrase Generator
17. Military might <Off. to some military, off. language>
18. Redneck Humor <offensive to rednecks>

1. How to take a Final
2. Psychology <dirty words, off. to Psychology graduates>
3. Computer Jargon
4. Joke about silent farts
5. It happened at the bar
6. Stock Offering (scatalogical)
7. A Buck says youre wrong!
8. Erma Bombeck
9. Definition of Chaos <off. to disabled>
10. Law on the March
11. Best of both worlds <sexual themes>
12. Another Tom Swiftie
13. Another Tom Swiftie
14. Another Tom Swiftie
15. Cat Ranch (offensive to cat (and rat) lovers)
16. Washington State Humor (poss offensive to Californians)
17. Limerick {suggestive}
18. Redneck Pickup Line
19. Being PC at work <Lotsa foul language>
20. Actual Headlines From The Newspaper! Some old Some New

1. The Night Before Finals
2. Blondes Again <May offend someone>
3. Blonde versus trolley
4. Language In The Workplace <Profanity>
5. Anthropology and air travel (suggestive)
6. A Roy Rope Rogers tale...
7. Law on the March
8. Two Unabomber top-ten lists <offensive to the Unabomber>
9. Law as it should be (suggestive)
10. Unplanned Parenthood (adult)
11. I am tired (not off.)
12. Ten things no man should say at Victorias Secret
13. Rejections.
14. Higher Mathematics
15. A Story with Moral <Adult themes>
16. Churchill Wit #2 [May be offensive to Tongans]
17. Cute true story <approved for all ages>
18. New Viruses
19. Did you hear about... [*extremely* insensitive to the terminally ill]
20. The Proper Perspective (mildly suggestive)
21. Unsuccessful Greeting Cards (maybe offensive)
22. 36 Politically Correct Ways to say Someone is Stupid
23. The Acrobat <Adult theme>

1. Anagrams
2. Response
3. Annoying people (1/5) <off. to most>
4. Women and rats (offensive to rats)
5. Women and horses ( offensive to both )
6. HUMOR Digest - 24 Apr 1996
7. Captain Hawley
8. Horny Prisoner <Adult Language>
9. Scoring bird <offensive language>
10. 5th Graders Research
11. Another new virus
12. A lite snack? <adult themes>
13. 5th Graders, etc.
14. To Catch a Squirrel II
15. The Unix Biography <long, a bit offensive>
16. Quotes 56
17. Law on the March
18. To Catch a Squirrel
19. "No" <offensive to Poles, Germans, rape victims>
20. Funny English Language
21. Yankee
22. Triple Martinis
23. Descendants of Jack <implied profanity>
24. The Last Full Deck List - Part 1
25. The Heavenly Marriage. <offensive to everyone>
26. Baptist humor (not offensive)
27. Tom Swifties, part 3

1. One liner
2. Annoying people (2/5) <off to most>
3. Barbie & GI Joe <Adult themes>
4. Two from my brother <off. to Catholics and Michael Jackson>
5. Tom Swifties, the end?
6. Top ten reason why TV is better than the web
7. Quotes part 57
8. Ali
9. Funny poem (offensive to women)
10. Ole and Lenas Outhouse
11. Ole and Lena (risque)
12. Full-Deckisms, Part II
13. Top ten reasons why Scooby Doo was a drug influenced cartoon <off. cartoon lovers>
14. In The News - May be off. to the IRS, lawyers, the Unabomber
15. Law on the March
16. "New Yorker" cartoon
17. Computer Literacy <offensive to stupid people>
18. Assorted humor
19. Some old sniglets
20. Golf Therapy (slightly sexual)
21. Medical Advice (suggestive)
22. Air Force Bake Sale

1. Annoying people (3/5) <off to most>
2. Quotes part 58
3. All-Purpose Speech
4. Assorted humor
5. Cusswords <off. to gays>
6. Employment Application (Off to blacks)
7. Dime goes a long way (Off to Polish & Italians)

1. Rape (women offensive)
2. Law on the March
3. Not in My Backyard!
4. Business Joke Of the day (S word)
5. Assorted humor
6. Identification <May offend my Irish relatives>
7. Menendez Bros. Lightbulb

1. Annoying people (4/5) <off to most>
2. Length differences (vulgar!!!!)
3. Annoying people (5/5) <off to most>
4. What if Operating Systems ran Airlines?
5. Our Government at work for our "benefit"
6. Man vs. Woman
7. Real-Life Classified Ads
8. Limerick - (offensive to Gays)
9. Law on the March
10. Full-Deckisms, Part III
11. Elephant joke (in bad taste, gross)
12. Cletus and Cooter(redneck humor)
13. HUMOR Digest - 6 Jul 1995 to 7 Jul 1995

1. Rejection Notice
2. Tom Swifty

1. O.J. Simpsons Address
2. Beavis and butthead pickup lines <suggestive>
3. Another elephant joke (gross)
4. Una de crias ( vulgar )
5. A whale of a joke
6. Taxi Drivers go to Heaven <off to religious>
7. Bovine Solutions
8. A simple question of a chicken?
9. Full Deckisms, Part IV
10. Law on the March
11. Questions [non-offensive]
12. At the bus stop <offensive to the disabled?>
13. Response to the Communications Decency Act
14. Summer Classes
15. Fresh reworking of old themes
16. What Makes Junior Jump
17. Dont Touch that Button! (Vulgar language, mildly offensive)
18. Tom said doggedly
19. Joke <adult material>
20. Technical Harassment
21. Bob Doles hair color (off to Bob Dole)
22. Doles Wit (off to a dwindling minority)
23. Cows (Im from Wisconsin)1/13

1. Chinese Books... (Off to Chinese, animal lovers)
2. Are you an asshole? (1/2) <bad words and more>
3. How to join the Royal Canadian Mounties <may be offensive to women>
4. Stewardess (offensive to blondes, f*** word)
5. You might be an engineer if... (may be offensive to engineers)
6. Divorce <Offensive to hillbillies, blacks, & lawyers>
7. Golf Ball
8. Cows 2/13
9. Kids Comments on Love (Part 1 of 2)
10. A Home Run ... the hard way
11. Top 10 Things Not to Say to Parents <non-offensive>
12. Mad cow solutions <offensive to mad cows>
13. Full Deck-isms, Part V
14. Fly Ball (sexual)
15. Baseball <suggestive>
16. Q & A (offensive to lesbians)
17. Success (sexual)
18. Fart Calendar (vulgar language)
19. Cows 3/13
20. Cows 4/13
21. Freedom? <not offensive>
22. A Mathematician joke <poss. off. to mathematicians wives>