1. Introductory Comments
2. Traffic Report
3. HumorList Information
4. Contribution of Humor
5. Month Index

Dear HUMOR members:

This is a traffic report for the HUMOR list. Registered posters
receive a report each week, so they can gauge the amount of traffic.
Once a month I send this report to the readers, too. Please recommend
HUMOR to your friends and to people on other lists.

We have a separate poster's list so we can protect the list from
accidential mail and from excessive traffic. Any member of our list is
welcome to become a registered poster. You should first request the
*Poster's Guide* by sending the command GET HUMOR GUIDE to the
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU address. After reading that document, you will
need to send me your numbered answers to a questionnaire (one of which
includes an opportunity to present a bit of humor--testing your
ability to write an appropriate subject line). I suggest that each
poster post something at least once a year, but no more than
three times a week.

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Here is the current weekly traffic report:

      Traffic Report for HUMOR, 30 October - 5 November
            (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks   3 Weeks    2 Weeks   1 Week     Last
Date   Day          Back      Back      Back      Back      Week

 30  Sunday           8         9         6         8         9
 31  Monday          19        11        21        19        18
 01  Tuesday         11        24        11        12        17
 02  Wednesday       18        20        15        16        17
 03  Thursday        14        13        19        19        21
 04  Friday          17        14        23        16        16
 05  Saturday         5         4        13        15         8

  Averages          13.1      13.6      15.4      15.0      15.1

Subscriptions      3,711     3,830     3,920     3,889     3,988
Countries            52        51        52        51        50
Contributors        384       387       385       386       385
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HUMOR's listserv provides members automatic services.
Address command to our listserv: LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU

Skip the subject line when sending a command. Commands go in the message
field--start with the first line, one command per line:

SIGNOFF HUMOR *listserv command for leaving the list*
SUB HUMOR Firstname Lastname  *to subscribe or to change you sign-up name*

Mail options (DIGEST is the default; you can only choose one option):
SET HUMOR MAIL *to receive mail as it is posted*
SET HUMOR INDEX *a daily table of contents with instructions how to download*
   
SET HUMOR DIGEST *to get daily collections of humor*
SET HUMOR NOMAIL *to stop all mail from HUMOR*

Other options:
QUERY HUMOR *to review your mail settings*
SET HUMOR CONCEAL *to conceal your membership*

INDEX HUMOR *to get a list of the HUMOR's logs numbers (archives)*

GET HUMOR NOTEBOOK *notebook is the name of the most current log; it will get
   a log number when it become 3000 lines long; request notebook when you
   need to review a recent article*

GET HUMOR LOG00### *the index will tell you the dates and the log numbers;
   this is the command for downloading a log; replace ### with the appropriate
   log numbers; many members keep up with HUMOR by downloading logs*

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Here is some horse humor:

How do you make a slow horse fast? Stop feeding him.

What kind of a horse can take several thousand people for a ride at the same
time? A race horse.

What animal has eyes that cannot see, legs that cannot move, but can jump as
high as the Eiffel Tower? A wooden horse. (The Eiffel Tower cannot jump.)

How do you get a horse out of a bathtub? Pull out the plug.

What is even more remarkable than a horse that can count? A spelling bee.

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