Traffic Report for April 1996
- Introductory comments
- The Traffic Report
- The countries receiving HUMOR
- Whose posts were chosen to be on the sample page this week?
- Why do we have a posters' list?
- What are the rules of contributing?
- Frequently Asked Questions
- A sample of humor
- Who is this "Jim" character, anyway?
- Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by
www.catweasel.org
Hi, everyone! This is Jim, with the new and improved
(drumroll please)...
B. Introductory Comments
As everyone can see, I have taken the liberty of making this
report more "user-friendly." I send it out every week to the
contributors' list (the HUMOR-P list) and once a month to the
entire HUMOR list. Welcome to the month of May.
Most of the questions I receive are now mentioned in the
"Frequently Asked Questions" section of this report, so feel
free to take a look at it if you have any questions. If your
question is not answered, or if you have any other comments,
please feel free to email me at jimphynn@interramp.com.
Over the course of this past week there was a surge in the posting
of ASCII art. I would just like to re-iterate that the rules of
posting have not been changed to allow this.
If you are not a contributor, but would like to become one, here is
your invitation to do so. All you need to do is send an email to
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command GET HUMOR GUIDE. It outlines
all of the rules of contributing, and provides a short exam which
will quiz you on the most important aspects of contributing. After
this exam you will get a notice informing you of your eligibility
to contribute. You can also view the HUMOR guide on the web at
http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn/humor/guide.html
As always, my mailbox is open for you if you have any questions or
comments. Please let me know what you think about this report in
its new & improved (as opposed to the previous "old and inferior")
format. My email address is jimphynn@interramp.com, or you can
visit my home page at http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn. The HUMOR
website is located at:
http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn/humor/humor.html
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C. Traffic Report for HUMOR, 28 April - 4 May
(Number of articles posted each day)
4 Weeks 3 Weeks 2 Weeks 1 Week Last
Date Day Back Back Back Back Week
28 Sunday 12 10 10 14 7
29 Monday 27 18 18 19 15
30 Tuesday 29 14 21 20 23
1 Wednesday 24 21 25 24 22
2 Thursday 15 17 28 28 21
3 Friday 18 18 24 21 14
4 Saturday 12 13 15 7 15
Averages 19.6 15.9 20.1 19.0 16.7
Subscriptions 9,415 9,335 9,172 9,086 8,999
Countries 74 74 75 75 77
Contributors 776 785 795 793 791
These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc. These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.
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a. Humor is dispatched daily to the following countries (If your
home country is not listed here, please email me at
jimphynn@interramp.com):
Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Belize, Brazil,
Bulgaria, Canada, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Czech
Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Finland, France,
Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Hongkong, Hungary, Iceland,
India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan,
Kazakhstan, Kenya, Korea, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania,
Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Moldova,
Mozambique, Netherlands, New Zealand, Northern Ireland, Norway,
Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia,
Saudi-Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Soviet Union,
Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, United Arab
Emirates, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Zambia
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D. Web Site Individiual Posts
The posts in the last week which have been chosen for the
sample.html page are as follows (in order as they appeared during
the past week):
Name Subject
1. Lyle J Kinnaman Cusswords
2. Bob Collins Dime goes a long way
3. Sarah W. Soderlund Limerick
4. Mike Bishop Cletus and Cooter
5. Mohamed El-Nadi Taxi Drivers go to Heaven
6. Aditya the Hindu Skeptic Bovine Solutions
7. Patrick Russell Divorce
8. Matt Grob Golf Ball
9. Mark J Scheller Good/Bad/Worse
10. Michael J Irvin Full Deck-isms, Part VI
11. John M Scheer A Few Jokes
12. Jon J Bisbey Mad Cow Disease
13. Ken Brousseau Sr. The One Eyed Cat
14. Gwen Eckman Dating rules for college
15. Joel Rosen Law on the March
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E. Poster's List
The purpose of the Posters list is to protect our readers from
careless, quarrelsome, and selfish contributors. To become a
member request the instructions by sending the command GET HUMOR
GUIDE from our LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU address.
** The following are the goals of HUMOR:
- To provide a daily average of 10-20 substantial examples of
humor.
- To provide a diversity of humor: sources, forms, and subjects.
- To provide freedom of expression for contributors and protection
of sensitivities for readers.
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F. The following are the brief version of HUMOR's rules:
1) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
A contributor who violates rules may be suspended.
2) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
Discussion, requests, and criticisms should not be posted.
One contribution per day.
No personal attacks, no apologies, and no reactions.
Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 max).
Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII art.
No signature file.
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G. Frequently Asked Questions
(note: all commands to the listserv address go in the body of the
message. You may send as many commands as you like, provided you
keep one command to a line)
Q. I am receiving HUMOR in digest format. How do I change this to
receive posts as they are sent?
A. Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR MAIL
Q. I am receiving HUMOR in mail format. How do I change this to
digest format?
A. Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR DIGEST
Q. I don't want someone searching the listserver for my email
address. How can I protect myself?
A. Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR CONCEAL
Q. What happens if I violate one of the rules of contributing?
A. Larry Randall, our rules enforcer, may suspend you.
Q. Is there any chance for some kind of leniency?
A. You'd want to take that up with Larry -- preferably BEFORE you
post something that might get you in trouble. His email address
is randall@mailstorm.dot.gov
Q. How often do you send the Traffic Report out, Jim?
A. I send it out once a week, on Sundays. On the first Sunday of
every month, I send it to the entire HUMOR list.
Q. So that means, if I get the report weekly, I'm eligible to
contribute?
A. Unless you are in violation of one of HUMOR's rules. Right.
Q. How do I stop getting the Traffic Report?
A. You have two options: first you could leave the posters' list
entirely, by sending LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SIGNOFF
HUMOR-P. Let me warn you that if you use this method, the way
to become a contributor again would entail taking that short
exam that you got by sending LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
GET HUMOR GUIDE
Or you could send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET
HUMOR-P NOMAIL
Q. How do I stop getting HUMOR?
A. You have two options: first you could leave the list entirely,
by sending LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SIGNOFF HUMOR
Or you could send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR
NOMAIL
Q. What if I want to change my email address?
A. For HUMOR, you can change it yourself, by sending
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SUBSCRIBE HUMOR, followed by
your real name from your new address, and then sending
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SIGNOFF HUMOR from the old
one.
If you wish to change your email address for contributing
purposes, email either me (jimphynn@interramp.com) or Larry
(randall@mailstorm.dot.gov).
Q. Can I have two different addresses registered to the listserver?
A. Sure! You can subscribe to HUMOR from as many addresses as you
like.
Q. How about for contributing?
A. Sorry. Only one address per person for contributor's status.
Makes the paperwork easier, in case you violate the rules.
Q. I don't violate the rules. Can you make an exception?
A. No.
Q. Sorry.
A. That's all right.
Q. I'm going on vacation for an extended period of time. I don't
want to have HUMOR piling up in my mailbox while I'm gone. What
should I do?
A. Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR NOMAIL
Q. How do I change it back when I get back to my computer?
A. Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SET HUMOR MAIL or SET
HUMOR DIGEST, whichever you prefer.
Q. What's the secret of the movie The Crying Game?
A. She's a man.
Q. Where is HUMOR's website?
A. http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn/humor/humor.html
Q. Who created it?
A. Yours truly.
Q. Great links page.
A. Thank you.
Q. Who are you, anyway?
A. That belongs in the section after the next.
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H. And now for my usual contribution of humor:
Subject: Jersey Girl
note: all names mentioned in this joke are real towns in the
state of New Jersey
There was this girl who lived in New Jersey, and she loved it so
much that she named parts of her body after places in the Garden
State. One night she confided this to her boyfriend as he was
beginning to feel up her right tit. "I bet you call this Mount
Pleasant," he said, and she smiled in assent.
Working his hand down her ass, he asked, "And this?"
"I call that Freehole," she replied.
Getting hot and heavy, he maneuvered his hand around to the front.
"I bet you call this Cherry Hill," he said triumphantly.
"Nope. That's Eatontown."
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I. Who is Jim
Jim Goldman, HUMOR list Traffic Reporter and Webmaster
jimphynn@interramp.com http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn
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1996 Indexes
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