1. Introductory Comments
2. Traffic Report
3. Countries Information
4. Contribution of Humor
5. Month Index

Hi, everyone!  This is Jim, with this week's Traffic Report.  I send
this to the contributors' list weekly, and once a month the report goes
out to the entire HUMOR list.

Before I get into this month's report to all of you, let me correct
myself from last month.  The year is NOW two-thirds over.  I used a
little bit of erroneous math a month ago when I divided the eighth
month of the year by twelve monts in a year.  Too bad that math would
only have held water at the end of the month as opposed to the
beginning.

So now as we stand here, three quarters of the way into the year (I
say that solely to bother the math majors out there...), I welcome all
of the college students back to campus and all of the Virgoes proudly
displaying their, um, virgonity.

You are invited to become a contributor if you haven't already done
so.  All you need to do is send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command GET
HUMOR GUIDE and take the test at the end of it.  Be warned that a
violation of HUMOR's rules can and will result in suspension of the
privilege (and it's not a right) to post to the list.  The rules are
largely governed by netiquette, and we therefore protect the freedom of
expression of our contributors, as long as they don't become
quarrelsome or unruly.

HUMOR's website is slowly growing.  About two or three weeks ago I
added a new page on it.  It is open to suggestion or addition as anyone
might feel necessary.  As I do not consider it anything beyond an
experimental stage at this time (it still doesn't have any images on
it; I'm open to suggestions in this area), it is completely unlinked
from the rest of the website, but you are invited to visit it anyway.
Direct your browsers to
http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn/humor/stupid.html.  This was inspired by
an article posted here a few weeks ago about how people have gotten
into trouble because they have taken some things a bit too
seriously...


If you have any questions, feel free to email me at
jimphynn@mindspring.com; I have been experiencing a few growing pains
in the past month with my new computer, but everything is more or less
working out for the best right now.  Feel free, also, to visit my home
page at http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn, or HUMOR's site at
http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn/humor/humor.html


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               Traffic Report for HUMOR, 7 September - 13 September
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

   7  Sunday          9        5        5        4        8
   8  Monday         11       10       13        8       12
   9  Tuesday        10       10       10       12       10
  10  Wednesday       4        9       10       14       10
  11  Thursday       17       13       12       14       10
  12  Friday         14       11       10       17       11
  13  Saturday        3        2        4        3        8

   Average           9.7      8.6      9.1     10.3      9.9

Subscriptions      9,390    9,245    9,058    8,848    8,819
Countries            100      103      103      103      103
Contributors         761      722      714      703      705


These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.

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        HUMOR is dispatched daily to the following countries:

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Belgium,
Belize, Bolivia, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Bulgaria, Canada,
Chile, China, Colombia, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, Cyprus,
Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Estonia, Federal
Republic of Yugoslavia, Fiji, Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Great
Britain, Greece, Guam, Guatemala, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India,
Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan,
Kazakhstan, Kenya, Korea, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania,
Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova,
Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Northern Ireland,
Norway, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Quebec,
Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Singapore, Slovakia, South
Africa, Soviet Union, Spain, Sri Lanka, Suriname, Sweden, Switzerland,
Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, United
Arab Emirates, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Zambia, Zimbabwe


                             Total countries: 103
                 Email me if your country is not listed here.

-----

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And now for my usual contribution of humor:
Subject:  "I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!"

Excerpted from the book _Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest,_ (c) 1996 by John J
Kohut and Roland Sweet.  Subject line from the movie 'Ruthless
People.'

Kidnappers who abducted Gildo dos Santos near his factory in a suburb
of Sao Paolo, Brazil, demanded $690000, but Santos escaped.  The next
day, Santos got a phone call asking for $11500 to defray the cost of
the abduction.  After negotiating a discount of 50 percent, Santos
called police, who were waiting when Luiz Carlos Valerio showed up to
collect payment.
-----

   Jim Goldman,  HUMOR list Traffic Reporter and Webmaster
jimphynn@mindspring.com        http://www.webcom.com/jimphynn
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